Have a Question and Looking for an Answer

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by TryinToDealWithIt, Apr 27, 2007.

  1. <span style='font-family: Lucida Console'> </span> <span style="color: #33CCFF"> </span>
    Ok, I was wondering if anyone has ever heard of Caregiver fatigue? If I am putting this in the wrong place, please tell me or move it :smile:
    It has been a long time since I have posted and an awful lot has happened. When I get a tad bit of time, I will try and post a quick version.
    TIA for all that reply

    Tryin
     
  2. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    I've heard of it. When you're caring for an elderly parent, someone with long term illness, etc. along with your regular job/family the stress of always having to be there, trying to do it right all the time, no "just me" time causes you to burn out and become fatigued and almost ill yourself. I don't know what the treatment for it is, other than respite.
     
  3. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    LOL, yep. Live it daily. I used to get an email newsletter... gosh, can't remember the name of it but I bet if you do a google on "caregiver" you'll find lots of info. Basically the newsletter had hints, tips, resources, and reinforced that caregivers have to take care of themselves too... which is a great idea in a perfect world, but when you don't have anyone to take care of the person you're caregiving, it's kind of a Catch-22.

    The physical and emotional toll of caregiving can be a bear. Seems to have a cumulative effect too.
     
  4. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I think there are times when we all experience this, as parents of difficult child.

    All I can say is that you need to make time for yourself. If at all possible, make time to get away for a weekend, go out with your husband, go out with some girlfriends.

    If you are caring for a parent, that's tough too. There are adult daycare centers. My mother in law is dealing with the same thing. She refuses to bring her mom to a daycare center, because she thinks her mom won't like it or won't want to go. The center isn't just for her mom....it's for her to get a day off.
     
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ohhh yeah!

    At one time I was taking care of my mom who had alzheimers, my son with bipolar, me with my issues, my middle son was enlisting in the Marines and my oldest who has his issues. I was really burning out.

    Eventually my mom got to the point I couldnt take care of her anymore at home because of the combination of her declining health and mine and she had to go into a nursing home. That relieved some of the stress but not all of it.

    There are sites on this subject.
     
  6. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    I agree with Lothlorien. All of us experience this at one time or another because of our difficult children. I've been feeling the effects of it lately as for the past 9 years husband and I haven't had anyone to help take care of our difficult children. husband works long hours and I basically take care of difficult children alone.

    I try to squeeze in a bit of "me" time whenever I can. Lately, it just doesn't seem to be enough. Exercise helps me remain calm while dealing with the day to day H-ll my difficult children create.

    I try to think about the rainbow at the end of the storm... Someday, (hopefully) my difficult children will no longer be living with me. I find myself thinking about this more and more often... WFEN
     
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    My Mom and I both went through it when we cared for my grandmother who was dying of cancer. The most important thing is for you to take care of yourself, too. Caregivers need breaks and down time to cope with the emotional, physical, and mental stress of intensive care of a loved one.

    We finally arranged for my aunts to take turns one day a week so we could just get out of the house for several hours. Then on another day one would come so Mom could get bills paid and the grocery shopping done.

    Hugs
     
  8. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Caregiver fatigue is a very common situation. I watched my father & sister (who managed the majority of my mom's care before she died) & they were stressed & exhausted.

    I watched how very numb they were & the slow return to life they are experiencing.

    Parenting our difficult children, in my humble opinion, is a different fatigue. It's lifelong - there is very little closure with a mental/emotional illness.

    That is where respite & self caring comes into play. Even the best of us crack under the level of pressure our little wonders bring into our homes.

    Take care of yourself.
     
  9. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    My husband and his sister cared for the parents (both stroke victims) for the past 10 years. While sister was the primary care giver, every moment of husband's free time was spent relieving her and he was still working fulltime and had young children. It has been a stressful and exhausting ten years. His mother died in Dec. and his father died this week. While I am sad to lose them, I am also happy to know that husband is free to live life once again. Last night we went out to eat and didn't have to watch the clock to be back in time to take care of father in law. The only way to get through the fatigue is to get some respite care in place.
     
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