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Have i done the right thing?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 764354" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am trying to buck you up and support you. Nothing I think or write is meant to be critical.</p><p></p><p>What choice do you have? Here in the US, there is a conservatorship, like what Britney Spears had. But that has pros and cons.</p><p>Absent that, I don't see your (or my) options other than acceptance that we have no role in this.</p><p></p><p>You keep referencing your son's well-being. What about your own? Your physical well-being and your emotional well-being. Your life.</p><p></p><p>I think we are compelled to limit contact if we are unsafe emotionally or physically.</p><p></p><p>Then there are the emotional and medical costs of your continuing on high alert due to this ongoing agitation and sense of impending danger, from him and to him--where you have no control whatsoever.</p><p></p><p>Do you not have a responsibility to yourself to try to dial that down? In yourself and for yourself, let alone him? You see, our kids have a Geiger counter where they ascertain our emotional reactivity and enmeshment. It affects not only their behavior vis-a-vis us, but affects how they handle and navigate themselves and their lives.</p><p></p><p>I went back to psychotherapy 2.5 years ago because I had symptoms of a heart attack and had developed fibromyalgia--all stress-induced. I had dissociated around my son, (as in blacking out). Eventually, this was a bridge too far. Anybody who was here on this forum in those years could tell you that I could not, would not bow out of trying to find a way, no matter the cost to me, that he should be healed. I could not, would not, learn until my life became such a misery that I could do nothing else but see the truth. This took me years and years.</p><p></p><p>You can be smarter.</p><p></p><p>I love my son with all my heart. He is psychotic. I thought he might have Schizophrenia. I am a medical professional, as well. I treat mental illness. But my son is not my patient. He is my son. People grow up and they live as they can. Our sons either decide to seek help or are compelled by law to accept treatment, or they do not. Unless there is something in your country like conservatorship, where your son's rights are taken away, there is a reality that needs to be faced. And we as mothers are the ones who must face it.</p><p></p><p>I tried to find another way. I could not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 764354, member: 18958"] I am trying to buck you up and support you. Nothing I think or write is meant to be critical. What choice do you have? Here in the US, there is a conservatorship, like what Britney Spears had. But that has pros and cons. Absent that, I don't see your (or my) options other than acceptance that we have no role in this. You keep referencing your son's well-being. What about your own? Your physical well-being and your emotional well-being. Your life. I think we are compelled to limit contact if we are unsafe emotionally or physically. Then there are the emotional and medical costs of your continuing on high alert due to this ongoing agitation and sense of impending danger, from him and to him--where you have no control whatsoever. Do you not have a responsibility to yourself to try to dial that down? In yourself and for yourself, let alone him? You see, our kids have a Geiger counter where they ascertain our emotional reactivity and enmeshment. It affects not only their behavior vis-a-vis us, but affects how they handle and navigate themselves and their lives. I went back to psychotherapy 2.5 years ago because I had symptoms of a heart attack and had developed fibromyalgia--all stress-induced. I had dissociated around my son, (as in blacking out). Eventually, this was a bridge too far. Anybody who was here on this forum in those years could tell you that I could not, would not bow out of trying to find a way, no matter the cost to me, that he should be healed. I could not, would not, learn until my life became such a misery that I could do nothing else but see the truth. This took me years and years. You can be smarter. I love my son with all my heart. He is psychotic. I thought he might have Schizophrenia. I am a medical professional, as well. I treat mental illness. But my son is not my patient. He is my son. People grow up and they live as they can. Our sons either decide to seek help or are compelled by law to accept treatment, or they do not. Unless there is something in your country like conservatorship, where your son's rights are taken away, there is a reality that needs to be faced. And we as mothers are the ones who must face it. I tried to find another way. I could not. [/QUOTE]
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