have reached my breaking point
- Thread starter tbone
- Start date
good morning,
hi you are having such a hard time, arent you? is this due to the fact that he's being released in two weeks now and their stating you either allow him to return home or your faced with abondnment?? i read your post late last night i saw it and i think i posted the same time you did. i was so tired though, i crashed.
hi you are having such a hard time, arent you? is this due to the fact that he's being released in two weeks now and their stating you either allow him to return home or your faced with abondnment?? i read your post late last night i saw it and i think i posted the same time you did. i was so tired though, i crashed.
Just jumping in again quick, this may be a silly question at this point yet have you contacted a family attorney at all regarding this?? They seem to be "boxing" you in at this piont, and that's just pure insanity.
As far as the giving up parental rights, it can be done, at least here in new york. Yet at this point there are so many issues on the table, maybe consulting an attorney and explaining the situation will truly give you some insight as to how to proceed best for you at this point and how to protect you and make the best choice here.
((((hugs))))
As far as the giving up parental rights, it can be done, at least here in new york. Yet at this point there are so many issues on the table, maybe consulting an attorney and explaining the situation will truly give you some insight as to how to proceed best for you at this point and how to protect you and make the best choice here.
((((hugs))))
klmno
Active Member
I haven't read all of your other thread- I will do that in a little while. But- since I've been reading a lot about this stuff for my own difficult child- there are three options to check into- well, four really, in Virginia- there might be more or less where you live, but consider these before you call anyone becasue the EXACT wording you use might make a difference in where they steer you-
1) keep the kid at home and get outside supports (it sounds like you don';t think this is the right answer for you at this time)
2) place kid outside of home, parent KEEPS legal custody (parent can get kid back at any time- it is parent's choice)
3) place kid outside of home, parent GIVES UP legal custody but has a few parental rights (I think) (parent gets kid back when system says they can)
4) place kid outside of home and parent gives up all custody and parental rights (parent never gets kid back)
Yes, as Jenifer suggested, if you can afford it, a family attny might be a good idea. Here, if you call a lwyer referral place, many times you can get an attny to consult with you on the phone for about $35 for 1/2 hr. This is supposed to be the initial consultation to see if you want to hire them and they want the case, but I think you could ask a lot of questions, then just tell them you'll call them back if you decide to hire them.
1) keep the kid at home and get outside supports (it sounds like you don';t think this is the right answer for you at this time)
2) place kid outside of home, parent KEEPS legal custody (parent can get kid back at any time- it is parent's choice)
3) place kid outside of home, parent GIVES UP legal custody but has a few parental rights (I think) (parent gets kid back when system says they can)
4) place kid outside of home and parent gives up all custody and parental rights (parent never gets kid back)
Yes, as Jenifer suggested, if you can afford it, a family attny might be a good idea. Here, if you call a lwyer referral place, many times you can get an attny to consult with you on the phone for about $35 for 1/2 hr. This is supposed to be the initial consultation to see if you want to hire them and they want the case, but I think you could ask a lot of questions, then just tell them you'll call them back if you decide to hire them.
tbone
tough luv is tough
Thank all of you for your valuable comments.I have not spoke with my son in a week,since his outburst towards one on the counslers,and he is very remorsful of all the things he has done to his family and wants to prove his self.I am so leary but want to believe him.I just do not want to get caught up in his depiration again.H sounds so sincere, and I want to know he is wanting to do the right thing with his life.I guess there is no way to know that.There has been so many chances and I told him I was so scared it would happen again.I dont know if I should try this again or not.
klmno
Active Member
I don't blame you- I just read your other thread- at least the part where you explain the situation. If it were me, I'd shoot for either #2 or #3 below on my list. But, that's just me. You need to do what is right for you and the other members of your family and listen to your gut. I don't think it would be a good idea to let him come home without immediate help from outside sources available. It appears to me that he should have to earn any opportunity to live at home again by proving that these things won't happen again, and that comfort-level can only be attained slowly and little by little, in my humble opinion.
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