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Parent Emeritus
Have run out of ideas but can't give-up
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 322927" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi,</p><p>my dtr also attended an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in Utah (when she was 16 for 8 1/2 months). She did very well there but relapsed almost immediately after returning home and we too spent tons of money (about $50,000) on this place. She is now 21 and has not lived at home since age 18 and has been living about 3000 miles from us for nearly 2 years. I found I had to detach and let her fall. She is doing "okay" now--has been homeless, in an abusive relationship, has a 1 yr old baby, works as a stripper. Not what I dreamed of for her, but she has shown me she can survive somehow and that she has tools if she wants to use them. I guess what I am saying is I had to completely let go of her (especially as I had a younger dtr who was being negatively affected by all this). We have a relationship--we talk on the phone and I do help her financially at times but only if I can do it without feeling resentful and used. </p><p></p><p>Hope we can help you--at least you can know you are not alone!</p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 322927, member: 3450"] Hi, my dtr also attended an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in Utah (when she was 16 for 8 1/2 months). She did very well there but relapsed almost immediately after returning home and we too spent tons of money (about $50,000) on this place. She is now 21 and has not lived at home since age 18 and has been living about 3000 miles from us for nearly 2 years. I found I had to detach and let her fall. She is doing "okay" now--has been homeless, in an abusive relationship, has a 1 yr old baby, works as a stripper. Not what I dreamed of for her, but she has shown me she can survive somehow and that she has tools if she wants to use them. I guess what I am saying is I had to completely let go of her (especially as I had a younger dtr who was being negatively affected by all this). We have a relationship--we talk on the phone and I do help her financially at times but only if I can do it without feeling resentful and used. Hope we can help you--at least you can know you are not alone! Jane [/QUOTE]
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