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Parent Emeritus
Have run out of ideas but can't give-up
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<blockquote data-quote="aninom" data-source="post: 323799" data-attributes="member: 8513"><p>Hi scary&sad, and welcome! I am pretty new here myself, and it really is a "soft place to land".</p><p> </p><p>I want to echo what others have said. This struck me in particular:</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>Disability or not, he seems capable of making his own decisions. They just happen to be bad ones, for now. And you need to turn that around. </p><p> </p><p>You are paying for his room - but withdrawing that financial support, for example, is not the same as giving up. It is perhaps the only way you can enable him to support himself (and not keep doing what he has been doing).</p><p> </p><p>Maybe you can tell him you WILL stop paying his rent in a set date from now, two months maybe, and that this is the timeframe he will have to find a job? </p><p> </p><p>And I say this because I know that, if he is enabled to behave and live this way at 20, he WILL live this way at 30. I know it's tough to say no, because you love him, because you fear he will only get in so much worse trouble if you don't provide for him. But it's an idea.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="aninom, post: 323799, member: 8513"] Hi scary&sad, and welcome! I am pretty new here myself, and it really is a "soft place to land". I want to echo what others have said. This struck me in particular: Disability or not, he seems capable of making his own decisions. They just happen to be bad ones, for now. And you need to turn that around. You are paying for his room - but withdrawing that financial support, for example, is not the same as giving up. It is perhaps the only way you can enable him to support himself (and not keep doing what he has been doing). Maybe you can tell him you WILL stop paying his rent in a set date from now, two months maybe, and that this is the timeframe he will have to find a job? And I say this because I know that, if he is enabled to behave and live this way at 20, he WILL live this way at 30. I know it's tough to say no, because you love him, because you fear he will only get in so much worse trouble if you don't provide for him. But it's an idea. [/QUOTE]
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Have run out of ideas but can't give-up
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