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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 12177" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>For approx a 6 month time I had to print our weekly schedule out for our case manager along with provide phone numbers for confirmation of everything we had on our calender. AT the time we had weekly pre teen group for oldest difficult child, weekly psychiatrist, twice weekly therapist, 4 Xs weekly behav mod doctor, weekly family therapy, and every other week IEP meetings.....and husband was critically ill and needed transport 5 times weekly to VA and I was in nursing school. AND son was going to Shriners monthly. VA was 90 mins away and Shriners was 3 hours away. But of course each professional thought THEIR appointment was The Most Important. And goodness forbid, the dentist, pediatrician or school field trip that might really topple the apple cart. </p><p>Case manager could not juggle it any better than I could. ANd she gave up far more quickly than I did. </p><p></p><p>Yes, they should walk a week in our shoes. and oh boy it got worse when "I" could not walk......it REALLY tipped the apple cart when they had to figure out how to make everyplace wheelchair acceissible for me so I could go! </p><p></p><p>I feel bad for you-------I would not go back to that crazy time for all the tea in china. </p><p>Why did I care what "they" thought? Cuz they could sic CPS on us...they were supposedly guiding the treatment of my kids......and often tried to point the blame not at the illneses my kids had but rather at the parenting......If "they" could gain credibility that it was becuz of my parenting, my kids would be left out in the cold with no "help" </p><p></p><p>I am not sure how many parents are out there getting services for their kids who really do not care.......I have a feeling there are more that DO care but who cannot figure out how to jump thru all the hoops, so they are made to LOOK like they do not care. Parents who have to work for a living to pay for the services cannot just take all that time off work all the time. Parents with other kids have to also juggle the other kids, whether the other kids are difficult children or not, other kids do still have needs. I know our school does nooot make it clear to parents that they CAN attend IEP meetings.....The school sends a quiet little notice there is going to be an IEP meeting......and busy parents sometimes do not read the whole entire package of paperwork, and the paperwork implies this is simply a technicality that they get notified of a meeting......it was not that the parents did not care- sometimes it was they did not understand. </p><p></p><p>Kinda the same way we look at a kid and think, gosh there are medications to help THAT.....but......how often have us here had medications for our kid that made things worse? But people look at the parent and think, assume......the parent is not "doing anything" </p><p>THe majority of people DO care about their kids. Some people get sick of trying to access resources, some do not know about various resources, some do not understand things, some are getting help and the help is not yet working......and sometimes the "help" is turning things around to make it LOOK like the parents do not care. -----sometimes becuz the "help" does not want to shoulder the blame for the help not working. They would rather blame the parents.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 12177, member: 1697"] For approx a 6 month time I had to print our weekly schedule out for our case manager along with provide phone numbers for confirmation of everything we had on our calender. AT the time we had weekly pre teen group for oldest difficult child, weekly psychiatrist, twice weekly therapist, 4 Xs weekly behav mod doctor, weekly family therapy, and every other week IEP meetings.....and husband was critically ill and needed transport 5 times weekly to VA and I was in nursing school. AND son was going to Shriners monthly. VA was 90 mins away and Shriners was 3 hours away. But of course each professional thought THEIR appointment was The Most Important. And goodness forbid, the dentist, pediatrician or school field trip that might really topple the apple cart. Case manager could not juggle it any better than I could. ANd she gave up far more quickly than I did. Yes, they should walk a week in our shoes. and oh boy it got worse when "I" could not walk......it REALLY tipped the apple cart when they had to figure out how to make everyplace wheelchair acceissible for me so I could go! I feel bad for you-------I would not go back to that crazy time for all the tea in china. Why did I care what "they" thought? Cuz they could sic CPS on us...they were supposedly guiding the treatment of my kids......and often tried to point the blame not at the illneses my kids had but rather at the parenting......If "they" could gain credibility that it was becuz of my parenting, my kids would be left out in the cold with no "help" I am not sure how many parents are out there getting services for their kids who really do not care.......I have a feeling there are more that DO care but who cannot figure out how to jump thru all the hoops, so they are made to LOOK like they do not care. Parents who have to work for a living to pay for the services cannot just take all that time off work all the time. Parents with other kids have to also juggle the other kids, whether the other kids are difficult children or not, other kids do still have needs. I know our school does nooot make it clear to parents that they CAN attend IEP meetings.....The school sends a quiet little notice there is going to be an IEP meeting......and busy parents sometimes do not read the whole entire package of paperwork, and the paperwork implies this is simply a technicality that they get notified of a meeting......it was not that the parents did not care- sometimes it was they did not understand. Kinda the same way we look at a kid and think, gosh there are medications to help THAT.....but......how often have us here had medications for our kid that made things worse? But people look at the parent and think, assume......the parent is not "doing anything" THe majority of people DO care about their kids. Some people get sick of trying to access resources, some do not know about various resources, some do not understand things, some are getting help and the help is not yet working......and sometimes the "help" is turning things around to make it LOOK like the parents do not care. -----sometimes becuz the "help" does not want to shoulder the blame for the help not working. They would rather blame the parents. [/QUOTE]
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