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General Parenting
have you ever used the American with Disability act for your difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 526525" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am rather torn on this. Is this behavior something new for him or something he does regularly? Part of me thinks that making it only one game is the way to go for a disabled kid like many difficult children, but the entire league and the parents WILL end up knowing about his disability because they will wonder why their kids are not allowed back and difficult child is. The league will have to have some answer. </p><p></p><p>Part of me wonders if this will turn out to be something that while hard, will teach him to never do that again. WHile no one got hurt this time, there is a huge potential for someone to get hurt if bats and helmets are thrown. How could you prove that he purposely aimed where there were no people and that this would not change? How can you be sure that this punishment won't end up turning things around and ensuring that he won't ever do it again? </p><p></p><p>I know he was hurt and upset that he couldn't play the other games, but sometimes things like this actually DO teach our kids important lessons. Even when we don't think the consequence is appropriate. </p><p></p><p>I actually DO think they can be forced to follow ADA but it might take a lawsuit and more of difficult child's personal business being spread through the community than he or you might want. I am not saying that this was the right punishment, only that sometimes harshness really does get through to our difficult children that they cannot do something. Many groups will tell you that ADA doesn't apply when really they don't have a clue and hope you will go away and not bother them. It takes a lawsuit and a bunch of $$ often to convince them of their error. </p><p></p><p>Again, I am NOT saying you are wrong to push for his rights, or that they were right to throw him for the tournament. Not knowing his disability, they probably cannot be held responsible for complying to ADA. If you didn't disclose this before the tournament, you probably are otu of luck this time. NExt time, if you have disclosed, they may have to accommodate. But thy could still refuse and this would mean that you would have to sue them. </p><p></p><p>I do know that since Special Olympics exists, many groups CAN say that if your child requires special treatment then they need to be in special olympics teams and NOT regular teams.</p><p></p><p>Be aware that as he gets older, this rule iwll only be enforced more stringently (the no throwing bats/helmets/equipment) and in many areas the 2nd or 3rd time you throw a bat you get thrown out for the season. Depends on the league, of course, but a friend of ours had her teen thrown out for a season for doing this. Of course it wasn't just one time of throwing bats and he did throw them toward people. </p><p></p><p>The reason I say that this might be something that sticks is bc it took a 'punishment' from someone else for Wiz to turn a major corner. For him it was a fist in his face from an older kid in a therapy group bc the kid was angry that Wiz kept insisting that J deserved to be strangled to death that ended up helping him. But the staff of the psychiatric hospital was not happy I wouldn't press charges - and Wiz was stunned because he thought I would ALWAYS protect him no matter what. </p><p></p><p>I truly don't mean to sound unsympathetic or to say you shouldn't fight for his rights.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 526525, member: 1233"] I am rather torn on this. Is this behavior something new for him or something he does regularly? Part of me thinks that making it only one game is the way to go for a disabled kid like many difficult children, but the entire league and the parents WILL end up knowing about his disability because they will wonder why their kids are not allowed back and difficult child is. The league will have to have some answer. Part of me wonders if this will turn out to be something that while hard, will teach him to never do that again. WHile no one got hurt this time, there is a huge potential for someone to get hurt if bats and helmets are thrown. How could you prove that he purposely aimed where there were no people and that this would not change? How can you be sure that this punishment won't end up turning things around and ensuring that he won't ever do it again? I know he was hurt and upset that he couldn't play the other games, but sometimes things like this actually DO teach our kids important lessons. Even when we don't think the consequence is appropriate. I actually DO think they can be forced to follow ADA but it might take a lawsuit and more of difficult child's personal business being spread through the community than he or you might want. I am not saying that this was the right punishment, only that sometimes harshness really does get through to our difficult children that they cannot do something. Many groups will tell you that ADA doesn't apply when really they don't have a clue and hope you will go away and not bother them. It takes a lawsuit and a bunch of $$ often to convince them of their error. Again, I am NOT saying you are wrong to push for his rights, or that they were right to throw him for the tournament. Not knowing his disability, they probably cannot be held responsible for complying to ADA. If you didn't disclose this before the tournament, you probably are otu of luck this time. NExt time, if you have disclosed, they may have to accommodate. But thy could still refuse and this would mean that you would have to sue them. I do know that since Special Olympics exists, many groups CAN say that if your child requires special treatment then they need to be in special olympics teams and NOT regular teams. Be aware that as he gets older, this rule iwll only be enforced more stringently (the no throwing bats/helmets/equipment) and in many areas the 2nd or 3rd time you throw a bat you get thrown out for the season. Depends on the league, of course, but a friend of ours had her teen thrown out for a season for doing this. Of course it wasn't just one time of throwing bats and he did throw them toward people. The reason I say that this might be something that sticks is bc it took a 'punishment' from someone else for Wiz to turn a major corner. For him it was a fist in his face from an older kid in a therapy group bc the kid was angry that Wiz kept insisting that J deserved to be strangled to death that ended up helping him. But the staff of the psychiatric hospital was not happy I wouldn't press charges - and Wiz was stunned because he thought I would ALWAYS protect him no matter what. I truly don't mean to sound unsympathetic or to say you shouldn't fight for his rights. [/QUOTE]
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have you ever used the American with Disability act for your difficult child?
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