Have you guys seen this?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by flutterbee, May 16, 2007.

  1. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    For several months prior to my heart attack, difficult child was spiraling downward in a big way. It was daily rages and meltdowns lasting hours and, though we aren't positive, her therapist and I both think she mildly dissociates. I was looking into day treatment and looking into tdocs and psychiatrists trained in the therapeutic model for Complex PTSD for an evaluation. I was quitting my job and was going to do in-home daycare so I could be more available for her. She was just not functioning.

    Then, I had the heart attack. difficult child did a complete 180. She's had only a couple of meltdowns and they've been minor in comparison - except for one. I think she's raged once. Since mid-March. That's 2 months. While she still argues with me, as any kid does, it's nowhere even remotely close to how it used to be.

    She *almost* seems easy child. We still deal with school refusal, but, again, not to the same extent as before. She's talking about trying out for cheerleading next school year. :surprise: Prior to this, she wanted to be homeschooled next year.

    Don't get me wrong. I'm really, really glad she's doing so well. Thrilled, actually. But, I can't help but wonder if it's just a honeymoon period because I've been ill. I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop and I hate that feeling.

    Have you guys seen something like this with your difficult child's?
     
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Hmmm, very interesting. I hope it is permanent!!!

    difficult child 1 seems to mellow a bit if she thinks I am sick... but it never lasts. Maybe it scared the easy child back into her!!! LOL

    But seriously maybe the fear of losing you has put some sense, and calm into her?
     
  3. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I've thought that. And I hope it's permanent, too. I've also wondered how much an effect my health prior to the "event" had on her. It was really before the heart attack that I was so ill. Crushing fatigue, body aches, muscle weakness. I'm dealing with medication reactions and stuff now, but still feel worlds better than I did prior. The difference is amazing. It stands to reason that my poor health had to have an effect on my parenting. Plus, difficult child feeds off me sooo much. Maybe my being so ill before was causing her downward spiral?

     
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Heather,
    I hope it is permanent-it's great to hear she is doing so well. I've never experienced anything like that with difficult child but we haven't had a major illness, however, with my difficult child I don't think we would see it. When one of is sick it seems to make no impact on him. He even yells that he doesn't care if we are sick!
     
  5. Pam R

    Pam R New Member

    DS got a LOT worse with husband's diagnosis and then went off the deep end with mine. He's basically in denial about either of our illnesses. I do know children can go either way when something like this (parental illness) occurs.

    Makes life awful hard sometimes and I wish he had chosen the other path. But what is, is, and we just live with it.

    Pam R.
     
  6. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I'm hoping a bit of maturity has struck difficult child. The fact that she can be responsible for helping about the house may be giving her a new sense of self.

    I'm glad that difficult child is in a good place - keeping fingers crossed this is a long positive change.
     
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