Can a easy child turn into a difficult child ??? My older son has moved in and out of my house for years. I blame myself for him leaving college. I lost my 18 year supervisor job. A few months later husband's company was sold and shut down. We nearly lost our house. Son had to come home from college, had no money. He has since taken a few college classes. Been employed for short periods of time. Quit most jobs because "he didn't like it". Has been bartending for over the past year. Has been out of the house since last summer. Spending every day and most nights at our house recently. Then informed me that his current roommate asked him to move out. ?? no job at all right now... He has ruined his credit years ago. Then got a good job out of town and began to put things back together. Even got a loan. Then his car broke down, he quit, broke his lease and came home. I have been paying his cell phone bill and loan payment since last october when things hit bottom for him. I thought he will get on his feet and he will again start paying me for his phone. Didn't happen. Gets up or comes over to eat. Lays around. About 3 or 4 in the afternoon decides to take a shower and go look for a job. Leaves the house about 5pm. Right, looking for a job????? He has no car. uses MY car or has girlfriend drive him. Yesterday I got home from work to find that difficult child has not done his assignments for school (3.5 days off and husband said he has been checking on his assignments, you know, that he did them). Only difficult child did NOT do them. I wrote husband a note about what needed to be done since I was headed for bed. I wrote older son a note. He needs to get a job. I cannot keep making his payments it is causing hardship. Told him to fill out the applications he picked up and BRING them back. Go to places that say apply in person and go to employment agencies and I listed about 6 or 7. I also said he can make arrangements with husband to take him to work so he can use his car. Even offered MY car if he would give me a ride in at midnight and pick me up at noon. I only wrote these notes because i was going to bed and usually do not see anyone. Older son came home just then. Started reading my note and started SCREAMING at me. Telling me how he applies every day online. That he IS looking. That I don't know how hard it is. Then he threw a pile of papers across the room in my direction. Then threw the kitchen chair. He was yelling and screaming. I started to cry. He went down stairs to his room and I went down a few minutes later to ask if he wanted to drive me to work. Only he told me to "get out of here - go away - don't talk to me" In really mean words. I left crying. Then he yelled that I am feeling sorry for myself and he left. I was so hurt, so upset so angry. I bend over backwards for my boys and this is what I get??? Feeling sorry for myself? Maybe if I wasn't paying HIS loan payment I could get a new door. One I don't have to shove a blanket in to keep the cold air from blowing in. A door that actually shuts. I called husband at work on the cell and left a message. I was crying. Hoping he would speak to Son and tell him he cannot talk to me this way. Wrong. How wrong I was. Son texted husband and told him that "we" got into it and he lost his temper. He didn't tell husband that I didn't say anything, i was getting ready for bed. But, nobody ever believes me. husband didn't say anything to me. I had to ask him a zillion questions. I actually thought husband would stick up for me. I was wrong. Why would he. Did you notice I didn't refer to Son as easy child. I don't know what he is. Just know he is unemployed, no car and I guess it is MY fault. I work 12 hour nights and a second job on my days off from here. According to Son and husband - I am feeling sorry for myself. I just wanted to earn a little more so I could buy a door..new windows maybe. I am feeling sad. This son never raised his voice to me growing up. Was such a good kid. Guess I am a total failure. After all look at my husband and my other son. Is there a place for failures? I need to go. Even though THEY should go. MY house and I pay all the bills.