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Having a Tough Time...
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 346891" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>DF...I tried to respond to you last night and the board ate it with the server issues and I simply couldnt retype it because I was so tired.</p><p></p><p>Im going to try to explain something that I have learned about personality disorders which I think will fit in your situation...okay? And by the way..just so you know, I have had to go through exactly the same questioning of myself too when Cory was given the personality disorder-not otherwise specified diagnosis too because we know pretty much for certain that MY borderline diagnosis was caused by my early, early childhood and parenting by my mom. So hell, what does that say about me as a mom if MY son has a personality disorder? Hmmm. I must have been a rotten mom too. Gee thanks.</p><p></p><p>Ok...now on to what I wanted to tell you.</p><p></p><p>There are some kids who are born into perfectly wonderful homes and go to perfectly wonderful daycares and babysitters but due to their innate makeup, they cannot find the fit in that world to thrive. For them, their world is invalidating...to THEM. Its not that the parents or other caretakers are being invalidating the way my mom was to me but that the child takes everything in around them as being invalidating.</p><p></p><p>Like you said your daughter always wanted bouncing and screaming. For some reason, that is all she understood. It wasnt that you were doing anything wrong. You werent forcing this on her. You were doing everything you could think of. Like you said, you tried to give her everything you could think of to bounce! My mom would have just left me to cry. To heck with finding a bouncy anything. </p><p></p><p>This isnt anything you did to her. Its the way she was wired. You couldnt have changed it anymore than you could have changed her height.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 346891, member: 1514"] DF...I tried to respond to you last night and the board ate it with the server issues and I simply couldnt retype it because I was so tired. Im going to try to explain something that I have learned about personality disorders which I think will fit in your situation...okay? And by the way..just so you know, I have had to go through exactly the same questioning of myself too when Cory was given the personality disorder-not otherwise specified diagnosis too because we know pretty much for certain that MY borderline diagnosis was caused by my early, early childhood and parenting by my mom. So hell, what does that say about me as a mom if MY son has a personality disorder? Hmmm. I must have been a rotten mom too. Gee thanks. Ok...now on to what I wanted to tell you. There are some kids who are born into perfectly wonderful homes and go to perfectly wonderful daycares and babysitters but due to their innate makeup, they cannot find the fit in that world to thrive. For them, their world is invalidating...to THEM. Its not that the parents or other caretakers are being invalidating the way my mom was to me but that the child takes everything in around them as being invalidating. Like you said your daughter always wanted bouncing and screaming. For some reason, that is all she understood. It wasnt that you were doing anything wrong. You werent forcing this on her. You were doing everything you could think of. Like you said, you tried to give her everything you could think of to bounce! My mom would have just left me to cry. To heck with finding a bouncy anything. This isnt anything you did to her. Its the way she was wired. You couldnt have changed it anymore than you could have changed her height. [/QUOTE]
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