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Having a very hard time tonight
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 583686" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I happen to be up late (unusualfor me), but I got to see your post.</p><p></p><p>I think you are being manipulated. He either wants the job or he doesn't want the job. He doesn't need a whole week's worth of your money to go to work next week. It's not your responsibility to keep him sober or to make him work and if he isn't motivated enough to go to his job unless you pay him to, he probably won't keep the job anyway. He's not ten years old getting a reward for a good report card. He's a man and should not get a bribe to act grown up. If this is your 33 year old, it's well past the time he needs to grow up without your money, BUT it is his choice and only his choice. You don't have to make any decision now though. Just rest and see how you feel tomorrow. Maybe the best thing to do is to work on your own life and detachment <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I'm sorry he is making you feel responsible for whether or not he walks straight or not...as you probably know in your heart, giving him money isn't going to make him do the right things. It has to come from deep within him and when he is ready, if he is ever ready (some people never are) he will do the right things and make the right choices on his own, without your help. Have you ever gone to Narc-Anon? Lots of good face-to-face help and support there. Try to sleep.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 583686, member: 1550"] I happen to be up late (unusualfor me), but I got to see your post. I think you are being manipulated. He either wants the job or he doesn't want the job. He doesn't need a whole week's worth of your money to go to work next week. It's not your responsibility to keep him sober or to make him work and if he isn't motivated enough to go to his job unless you pay him to, he probably won't keep the job anyway. He's not ten years old getting a reward for a good report card. He's a man and should not get a bribe to act grown up. If this is your 33 year old, it's well past the time he needs to grow up without your money, BUT it is his choice and only his choice. You don't have to make any decision now though. Just rest and see how you feel tomorrow. Maybe the best thing to do is to work on your own life and detachment :) I'm sorry he is making you feel responsible for whether or not he walks straight or not...as you probably know in your heart, giving him money isn't going to make him do the right things. It has to come from deep within him and when he is ready, if he is ever ready (some people never are) he will do the right things and make the right choices on his own, without your help. Have you ever gone to Narc-Anon? Lots of good face-to-face help and support there. Try to sleep. [/QUOTE]
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Having a very hard time tonight
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