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Having trouble setting boundaries for entitled son
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 686443" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>Just a small and almost humorous update--I talked to son about things and he and his wife have been pitching in around the house more, buying some groceries, etc. He even seemed more serious about looking for jobs. I caught him talking to a guy at a construction site near our house and he said he was asking him if they were hiring. He told me about several jobs he's applied for, and about people he's been talking to about jobs. Then, hurray! He got a job interview at a car dealership! The interview was yesterday.</p><p></p><p>So I called him after work and said, "How did your job interview go?"</p><p>"Oh, I didn't go. It was an informal thing so I figured I'd just go in tomorrow." With all my composure, I said, "If someone told you to come in on a certain day for an interview, why do you think it's OK to go on a different day?" He suddenly had to get off the phone and didn't answer my question.</p><p></p><p>I feel like I'm talking to a wall. I doubt he's going in today either.</p><p></p><p>He was worrying about how to pay his court fines the other day, since he has $500 due in about a month and has only saved $100 (from his wife's job). He also didn't know where he was supposed to take his driving school. He was reading off his court papers to me over the phone. I told him maybe he needs to call his attorney about all this. He said he didn't have the attorney's number. So I told him to call the public defender's office. He said, "I don't know how they expect me to come up with $500 miraculously." I said, "Maybe they expected you to get a job over the last few months." I also told him that it sounds like he needs to spend some time figuring out all the logistics and what he's going to do. I know the whole point of the conversation was for me to feel sorry for him and offer to bail him out. It's not happening this time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 686443, member: 18099"] Just a small and almost humorous update--I talked to son about things and he and his wife have been pitching in around the house more, buying some groceries, etc. He even seemed more serious about looking for jobs. I caught him talking to a guy at a construction site near our house and he said he was asking him if they were hiring. He told me about several jobs he's applied for, and about people he's been talking to about jobs. Then, hurray! He got a job interview at a car dealership! The interview was yesterday. So I called him after work and said, "How did your job interview go?" "Oh, I didn't go. It was an informal thing so I figured I'd just go in tomorrow." With all my composure, I said, "If someone told you to come in on a certain day for an interview, why do you think it's OK to go on a different day?" He suddenly had to get off the phone and didn't answer my question. I feel like I'm talking to a wall. I doubt he's going in today either. He was worrying about how to pay his court fines the other day, since he has $500 due in about a month and has only saved $100 (from his wife's job). He also didn't know where he was supposed to take his driving school. He was reading off his court papers to me over the phone. I told him maybe he needs to call his attorney about all this. He said he didn't have the attorney's number. So I told him to call the public defender's office. He said, "I don't know how they expect me to come up with $500 miraculously." I said, "Maybe they expected you to get a job over the last few months." I also told him that it sounds like he needs to spend some time figuring out all the logistics and what he's going to do. I know the whole point of the conversation was for me to feel sorry for him and offer to bail him out. It's not happening this time. [/QUOTE]
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Having trouble setting boundaries for entitled son
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