He actually used a coping skill!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Aug 24, 2010.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yesterday I took difficult child to the pool. I let him know ahead of time I would only be in the water some of the time (my back is still bothering me a bit and I was super tired). He played by himself for awhile and then I joined him. A short time later the pool had to be cleared because someone had left a "present" in the pool. We were out for about 25 minutes. I went back in with him for a bit but he was being a bit of a pita so I went back to layout.

    Later he wanted to play basketball in the water. He tried to join in on a game but the kids weren't very welcoming (he so wanted to play but didn't know the kids and they ignored him). He just waited til someone returned a ball so he could get one and asked if I wanted to play a game of HORSE. I said sure.

    We got in the water and they cleared the pool again (we didn't even get to throw a bucket). Apparently someone had left another "present". difficult child was furious. He told me how angry he was and was really worked up-he was starting to really escalate and I was worried he was really going to blow!

    I asked him what he could do if he was angry. He started counting and calmed down. We sat on the chairs and waited. After 25 minutes it didn't look like they were progressing so I asked difficult child if he wanted to wait or leave (usually when he is stuck on something he won't let it go). He chose to leave!

    When we got home I told him how proud I was of him for using a coping skill and counting when he was so angry. He looked at me, smiled and said, "I'm learning mom, I'm learning.":)
  2. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Thanks for posting this. It made me smile! Believe me, it's tough to get me to smile before my caffeine has fully kicked in, lol... All of the hard work you and difficult child have been doing is finally beginning to pay off... Way To Go difficult child!!! Way To Go MOM!!! SFR
  3. Sharon,

    This story made me smile as well! Great work, and kudos to both of you. It's the small steps that lead to big changes.

  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    VERY good! I need to remember that for myself! Sheesh. Not a very nice day at the pool. But your difficult child performed spectatularly.
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Wow, what good news! He needs some relief from his own struggles and you definitely deserve some, along with a glimmer of who he can be to shine through sometimes. I'm glad you had this time and thanks for sharing!
  6. ML

    ML Guest

    That is wonderful. What an insightful thing for him to say. A nice victory indeed. Manster would have left the first time and likely NEVER go back to *that* pool again lol.
  7. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    I think it is huge that he (1) smiled and (2) said "I'm learning." The smile implies some humor and gentleness towards himself and his foibles (instead of defensiveness and shame), and "I'm learning" shows he's aware that he does have things to learn and perceives himself as progressing. Great news!

    I know you already figured all this out -- I was just figuring it out for myself as a good reminder to catch my difficult child's in their good moments.
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    He is learning, indeed! Way To Go, difficult child!
  9. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sharon, self-awareness is a great thing! Good for difficult child!