He actuay said "I'm Sorry"!

[escapedagain]

I cant believe it but my difficult child just told me "I'm sorry" and he ment it!

The last few weeks have been terrible and I just couldn't take it anymore today. He peed in the floor right by the toilet at 6 a.m., he peed in the litter box a little while later. He spit his drink on the couch 3 times, spilled my soda on the rug in the kitchen because he had to take his medications., I had to tell him to do everything at least 3 times then make him physically do it. His mouth has been horrible all morning with back talk or just saying mean things.

I have cleaned up after him all day! I finally broke! I told him since he was taking up so much of my time and wearing me out he was going to have to pitch in and do some of my work that I now didn't have time to do. He hates to actually do house work. I made him vaccume the livingroom, it took him 30 min. since he kept walking away or sitting down. Then when he thought he was done I made him sweep the kitchen, He tried to prove he couldnt do so I made him put both hand on the back of my shirt and follow me as I did it ( of course it took me much longer than norman and I was much more picky about the job). Then he had to help me take out laundry from dryer and fold towels, then pick up after smaller kids (so he could see what it was like to pick up after others) then help me clean the bathroom,(He got the toilet)!

When we were done, I gave the kids lunch and sat down for a few min. in my rocker. He came over to me and said " Are you tired mom?" I said " Yes" He looked at me very seriously and said "I'm sorry." Good thing I was already sitting!!!!!

I dont know if it will stick or work again but it sure was nice this time.

Have a great day everyone!!!!

 

[Star*]

BRAVO...........

And the best thing to do really? Is just say thanks as if THAT were his normal response.

The next time you go to do this - just maybe say something like " You know son you did such a great job vacuuming if you'll do it again as well as you did it today I have a reward for you." and then get some little $1 items that you hide and give him one, outta the blue.

They look for "time with you" even though it seems like they want you to drop dead.
They need - something to do - they really won't die of their boredom but I thought I would. lol
Reassurance like - on the phone with a friend and say "You won't BELIVE the job he did helping me in the house," but if he comes in the room just act like you are trying to hide the praise (this worked WONDERS with Dude)
I couldn't give him a direct compliment - but a little braggin on the phone as I pretended HE could not hear was immeasurable.

I'm really proud of you both.

Hugs
Star

 

[Jena]

Wow good for you!! That was a great idea to inlist him in doing some "chores" around the house, also making him hold the back of your shirt to follow "how to do it".

Good job! A good ending to a challenging day, huh..?

 

[susiestar]

Star is right about the power of a $1 toy, thank heavens for a Dollar Store!

And they really DO want time with you.

Star is not the only one who had to be on the phone to praise her child. My son could not "hear" or somehow accept ANY praise that we said to him. It simply didn't register. But if he heard me tell someone something nice about him over the phone, well that worked better than anything we could have said any other way. We even "faked" calls to his grandparents at times so that he would hear us praise him to them. It seemed that he ONLY registered praise if we said it to someone else while "hiding" it from him. While this seemed far more manipulative than I like to do things, well, it worked. And with a kid who's self esteem was terribly battered by a cruel group of teachers, this was as important as anything else we ever did.

Have you talked to his doctor about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)/Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) yet?