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He broke a window
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 153283" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Yes, difficult child will not attend the next appointment. husband and I are going to come up with-a diff game plan.</p><p>One of the problems is that difficult child has such an absolute, immediate, concrete concept of the world, that he doesn't grasp even minutely abstract concepts such as being grounded to his rm for an entire wk. It just seems like his world had ended and we are cruel and he doesn't understand why. So that builds up his anger and resentment and then he blows.</p><p>I hate to compare, but it's sort of like a dog, where you can't punish it a day later. You have to catch it in the act. There's some piece missing, some wiring that is askew with-our difficult child, and we just don't have a name for it.</p><p>He is getting better with-recognizing facial expressions and cliches. Last wk I got exasperated when he continued begging for something and I said, "You can beg until the cows come home but--" and he put up his hand and said, "I know, that's just an expression." LOL.</p><p> </p><p>His Friday folder yesterday was phenomenal. All A's and 100s. Last wk was abysmal--two Fs and two Ds. So that's why we crakced down. But it paid off, in a sense. We KNOW he can do the work.</p><p> </p><p>We just have to figure out a way to get his attention with-o triggering his temper. Well, at least, not THAT much! One slammed door is to be expected. Breaking a window and lighting matches is over the top.</p><p> </p><p>Someone here suggested exercises to tense up the body and then relax. Good ideas. I will talk to our child psychiatric to get more ideas.</p><p> </p><p>Also, I called up my bipolar friend yesterday (He Who Considers Himself a Racecar Driver<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> ) and he took me through a list of things that happened to lead up to the explosion, and concluded that it didn't really match bipolar. It clearly showed that difficult child has some messed-up wiring and that he is delayed. He said we just have to change all the rules for him (shades of The Explosive Child) and if a book or therapist suggests grounding him for a wk, we can only ground him for 2 days because he just doesn't "Get it." The whole thing is an experiment and we have to stay on top of it. </p><p>It really helps to have a friend like that, and all of you here, who understand. Thank you.</p><p>by the way, difficult child's privileges have been restored because he did all his chores and got such a good homework notebook. Of course, he's in a great mood. I dropped him off at a friend's house and he kissed me on the cheek and told me he loved me.</p><p>I've made up a separate list of chores so he can pay us back for the window. He's going to have to do one thing every day until it's pd back. We haven't figured out how long that will be--he only gets $5 a wk for an allowance, and just finished paying us back for the glass on the chandelier upstairs that he broke, throwing the football in the house.</p><p> </p><p>At any rate, Mother's Day will be halfway decent.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 153283, member: 3419"] Yes, difficult child will not attend the next appointment. husband and I are going to come up with-a diff game plan. One of the problems is that difficult child has such an absolute, immediate, concrete concept of the world, that he doesn't grasp even minutely abstract concepts such as being grounded to his rm for an entire wk. It just seems like his world had ended and we are cruel and he doesn't understand why. So that builds up his anger and resentment and then he blows. I hate to compare, but it's sort of like a dog, where you can't punish it a day later. You have to catch it in the act. There's some piece missing, some wiring that is askew with-our difficult child, and we just don't have a name for it. He is getting better with-recognizing facial expressions and cliches. Last wk I got exasperated when he continued begging for something and I said, "You can beg until the cows come home but--" and he put up his hand and said, "I know, that's just an expression." LOL. His Friday folder yesterday was phenomenal. All A's and 100s. Last wk was abysmal--two Fs and two Ds. So that's why we crakced down. But it paid off, in a sense. We KNOW he can do the work. We just have to figure out a way to get his attention with-o triggering his temper. Well, at least, not THAT much! One slammed door is to be expected. Breaking a window and lighting matches is over the top. Someone here suggested exercises to tense up the body and then relax. Good ideas. I will talk to our child psychiatric to get more ideas. Also, I called up my bipolar friend yesterday (He Who Considers Himself a Racecar Driver:) ) and he took me through a list of things that happened to lead up to the explosion, and concluded that it didn't really match bipolar. It clearly showed that difficult child has some messed-up wiring and that he is delayed. He said we just have to change all the rules for him (shades of The Explosive Child) and if a book or therapist suggests grounding him for a wk, we can only ground him for 2 days because he just doesn't "Get it." The whole thing is an experiment and we have to stay on top of it. It really helps to have a friend like that, and all of you here, who understand. Thank you. by the way, difficult child's privileges have been restored because he did all his chores and got such a good homework notebook. Of course, he's in a great mood. I dropped him off at a friend's house and he kissed me on the cheek and told me he loved me. I've made up a separate list of chores so he can pay us back for the window. He's going to have to do one thing every day until it's pd back. We haven't figured out how long that will be--he only gets $5 a wk for an allowance, and just finished paying us back for the glass on the chandelier upstairs that he broke, throwing the football in the house. At any rate, Mother's Day will be halfway decent. [/QUOTE]
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