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He doesn't get it
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 85652" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>It sounds to me like as much as it's a difficult child thing, it's also a spoiled little brat thing. I think that at that age, even with his complications, he's old enough to understand that his ODD/ADHD reactions <em>can</em> be tamed to an extent if he tries. It's not an excuse to act badly whenever he wants, and if <em>anything</em> it's a reason to apologize when he is out of line. Maybe he's got difficult problems, but he needs to hear that you are on the other end of them and you don't have to set yourself up over and over again to have him treat you badly. You need to start hearing thank you, or you will be doing less for him. Even difficult children have hindsight, and can apologize for an earlier transgression or say thank you for an earlier gift. Acting out in the moment is one thing. Not giving in is something else entirely.</p><p></p><p>With M, we could talk until we were blue in the face about saying "I'm sorry" for destroying our property, for example. As he got older (14-15) he went with "You <em>know</em> that I have never apologized for anything I have done, and I never will." OK, fine. Maybe that's why we won't bother forgiving you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 85652, member: 99"] It sounds to me like as much as it's a difficult child thing, it's also a spoiled little brat thing. I think that at that age, even with his complications, he's old enough to understand that his ODD/ADHD reactions [i]can[/i] be tamed to an extent if he tries. It's not an excuse to act badly whenever he wants, and if [i]anything[/i] it's a reason to apologize when he is out of line. Maybe he's got difficult problems, but he needs to hear that you are on the other end of them and you don't have to set yourself up over and over again to have him treat you badly. You need to start hearing thank you, or you will be doing less for him. Even difficult children have hindsight, and can apologize for an earlier transgression or say thank you for an earlier gift. Acting out in the moment is one thing. Not giving in is something else entirely. With M, we could talk until we were blue in the face about saying "I'm sorry" for destroying our property, for example. As he got older (14-15) he went with "You [i]know[/i] that I have never apologized for anything I have done, and I never will." OK, fine. Maybe that's why we won't bother forgiving you. [/QUOTE]
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