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He Doesn't Have a Clue...
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<blockquote data-quote="WSM" data-source="post: 298169" data-attributes="member: 5169"><p>I cannot adopt stepdaughter, when we divorce I will not see her again. I will have no visitation, and if he forbids me to contact her, I will be in violation of the law even if she intiates the contact. </p><p> </p><p>The book was a new $12 paperback on pirates. I like pirates.</p><p> </p><p>Social services/CPS knows how difficult child lives, has seen his room, and has made suggestions to make it harder for him to go out the window. Court is Sep 10.</p><p> </p><p>This story gets worse. After I wrote the below, I went back to the hospital to visit son17. I waited until after difficult child's regular bedtime. He showered and I stood on the front lawn and looked up at difficult child's window and saw husband standing in difficult child's door saying good night. He turned out the light. Through the living room window I saw husband come downstairs. I went to the hospital. The webcam was on. </p><p> </p><p>The first thing husband did was go to my son and yell at him, pointing fingers, waving his arms, gestulating. Then he went upstairs and got difficult child and brought him downstairs to play video games with my kids.</p><p> </p><p>I am outraged. When I got back there was a huge fight and husband tried involve my kids telling me they thought I was abusing him and they liked difficult child, and wanted to play with him. I reminded him that the CPS lady insisted that that the first priority was protecting to protect the other kids, particularly stepdaughter. CPS said specifically she was not to be alone with difficult child. husband--the ****** idiot--that he was going to call CPS and tell them it was unacceptable, he was not going to separate a sister from a brother, they had fun together.</p><p> </p><p>How fast can you say foster home for stepdaughter? Fricking idiot.</p><p> </p><p>He then tried to blame me again for difficult child's problems, and I said, "The CPS lady told me you'd turn on me. SHe told me you'd blame me."</p><p> </p><p>husband said, "You aren't to talk to her anymore. You are not the parent. You're just the stepparent. I'm going to call her up and tell her she's not to talk to you any more."</p><p> </p><p>Double fricking stupid idiot. You do that, you call up a CPS investigator and tell her whom she can and can't talk to. Yep, smart move, buddy, just go ahead and take control and tell the CPS investigator that she can't talk to someone who's in the home of a child who's well being is at risk. </p><p> </p><p>Idiot.</p><p> </p><p>Well, tomorrow there's going to be a come to Jesus meeting. I'm telling him straight out, if he ever pulls a stunt like that again--going behind my back to mix stepson with my kids, I'll be filing for divorce with atty A.B. (his first wife's divorce attorney who ran husband through the wringer). And step one will be an adhoc request for his son's removal from the home (and his) for the safety of the other children, with a garnishment order for 1/2 the mortgage. And two will be a call to CPS to ask that they support this motion for the safety of the other kids in the family.</p><p> </p><p>Does he want me calling either Atty A.B. or CPS? Maybe he doesn't want this marriage any more, but he damn sure doesn't want it to end this way.</p><p> </p><p>Secondly, I'm going to repeat to something he's always whining about: "Everyone thinks I'm a bad parent. Everyone criticizes my parenting." Waaaaah, waaaaaah, reassure me, boo-hoo-hoo.</p><p> </p><p>Well, there's no reassurance coming from me. Yes, everyone DOES think you are a bad parent: me, your mother, your brothers, the school, CPS, the psychiatrist, the therapist, ex-therapists, neighbors, people who dislike difficult child, people who like difficult child, people who support you, people who don't support you. Everyone has a different opinion on what you are doing wrong, but we are all united in one belief: you <strong>are</strong> a poor parent. Get a clue.</p><p> </p><p>And this bad parenting has caused you to make a series of bad decisions that helped put difficult child in the position he's in. Yep, he majorly is responsible for his own predicament, but you held his hand the whole way there. The burying your head in the sand, the DRINKING, the excuses, the blaming, the flipflopping about, the changing of facts to fit your emotions rather than changing your emotions to fit the facts (which is what mentally healthy people do) all have led you to this place. </p><p> </p><p>It's likely they are going to take difficult child away from you for a while, but they are going to give him back and you are going to have a second chance to do sane reasonable GROWN UP parenting. And if you do not change your parenting style, they will take him away again, and you may not get him back, you may in fact lose them both. Forever. </p><p> </p><p>So I strongly suggest, as your best friend and staunchest supporter, that you <strong>get a clue <em><u>fast</u></em></strong>.</p><p> </p><p>The come to Jesus meeting will conclude with: it's time for AA and for a therapist. You are destroying your relationships with alcohol, making dumb decisions, saying stupid things, just out of control. You will find yourself in your fifties, divorced, underemployed, without your kids, dependent upon your mommy--if you do not get on top of the drinking. </p><p> </p><p>You need a therapist, you have huge emotional baggage left over from your effed up childhood. Between the alcohol and the **** poor parenting you received, you don't have a chance at improving your life. With me in it or not. And right now, buddy, you ought to count me out. </p><p> </p><p>I'm going to invite him for a ride in the car and do it there, and I will tell him shut up straight out rude like that, which I never do, if he wants to interrupt. It's my turn to talk. </p><p> </p><p>I am just seething right now, just seething.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WSM, post: 298169, member: 5169"] I cannot adopt stepdaughter, when we divorce I will not see her again. I will have no visitation, and if he forbids me to contact her, I will be in violation of the law even if she intiates the contact. The book was a new $12 paperback on pirates. I like pirates. Social services/CPS knows how difficult child lives, has seen his room, and has made suggestions to make it harder for him to go out the window. Court is Sep 10. This story gets worse. After I wrote the below, I went back to the hospital to visit son17. I waited until after difficult child's regular bedtime. He showered and I stood on the front lawn and looked up at difficult child's window and saw husband standing in difficult child's door saying good night. He turned out the light. Through the living room window I saw husband come downstairs. I went to the hospital. The webcam was on. The first thing husband did was go to my son and yell at him, pointing fingers, waving his arms, gestulating. Then he went upstairs and got difficult child and brought him downstairs to play video games with my kids. I am outraged. When I got back there was a huge fight and husband tried involve my kids telling me they thought I was abusing him and they liked difficult child, and wanted to play with him. I reminded him that the CPS lady insisted that that the first priority was protecting to protect the other kids, particularly stepdaughter. CPS said specifically she was not to be alone with difficult child. husband--the ****** idiot--that he was going to call CPS and tell them it was unacceptable, he was not going to separate a sister from a brother, they had fun together. How fast can you say foster home for stepdaughter? Fricking idiot. He then tried to blame me again for difficult child's problems, and I said, "The CPS lady told me you'd turn on me. SHe told me you'd blame me." husband said, "You aren't to talk to her anymore. You are not the parent. You're just the stepparent. I'm going to call her up and tell her she's not to talk to you any more." Double fricking stupid idiot. You do that, you call up a CPS investigator and tell her whom she can and can't talk to. Yep, smart move, buddy, just go ahead and take control and tell the CPS investigator that she can't talk to someone who's in the home of a child who's well being is at risk. Idiot. Well, tomorrow there's going to be a come to Jesus meeting. I'm telling him straight out, if he ever pulls a stunt like that again--going behind my back to mix stepson with my kids, I'll be filing for divorce with atty A.B. (his first wife's divorce attorney who ran husband through the wringer). And step one will be an adhoc request for his son's removal from the home (and his) for the safety of the other children, with a garnishment order for 1/2 the mortgage. And two will be a call to CPS to ask that they support this motion for the safety of the other kids in the family. Does he want me calling either Atty A.B. or CPS? Maybe he doesn't want this marriage any more, but he damn sure doesn't want it to end this way. Secondly, I'm going to repeat to something he's always whining about: "Everyone thinks I'm a bad parent. Everyone criticizes my parenting." Waaaaah, waaaaaah, reassure me, boo-hoo-hoo. Well, there's no reassurance coming from me. Yes, everyone DOES think you are a bad parent: me, your mother, your brothers, the school, CPS, the psychiatrist, the therapist, ex-therapists, neighbors, people who dislike difficult child, people who like difficult child, people who support you, people who don't support you. Everyone has a different opinion on what you are doing wrong, but we are all united in one belief: you [B]are[/B] a poor parent. Get a clue. And this bad parenting has caused you to make a series of bad decisions that helped put difficult child in the position he's in. Yep, he majorly is responsible for his own predicament, but you held his hand the whole way there. The burying your head in the sand, the DRINKING, the excuses, the blaming, the flipflopping about, the changing of facts to fit your emotions rather than changing your emotions to fit the facts (which is what mentally healthy people do) all have led you to this place. It's likely they are going to take difficult child away from you for a while, but they are going to give him back and you are going to have a second chance to do sane reasonable GROWN UP parenting. And if you do not change your parenting style, they will take him away again, and you may not get him back, you may in fact lose them both. Forever. So I strongly suggest, as your best friend and staunchest supporter, that you [B]get a clue [I][U]fast[/U][/I][/B]. The come to Jesus meeting will conclude with: it's time for AA and for a therapist. You are destroying your relationships with alcohol, making dumb decisions, saying stupid things, just out of control. You will find yourself in your fifties, divorced, underemployed, without your kids, dependent upon your mommy--if you do not get on top of the drinking. You need a therapist, you have huge emotional baggage left over from your effed up childhood. Between the alcohol and the **** poor parenting you received, you don't have a chance at improving your life. With me in it or not. And right now, buddy, you ought to count me out. I'm going to invite him for a ride in the car and do it there, and I will tell him shut up straight out rude like that, which I never do, if he wants to interrupt. It's my turn to talk. I am just seething right now, just seething. [/QUOTE]
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