He has gone back to sober house

[toughlovin]

So we heard today our son is moving back into the sober house from the rehab. That is a few days earlier than we expected. I am not sure why... whether they and he felt he was ready or if they needed his bed. I feel very unclear still about what exactly happened and how he is doing. I did have a brief text convo with him today where he said he was doing pretty good and looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. So my hope is that he is doing well.... I just wish he could find a job. I think that is key!!!!

Nancy I am so glad your difficult child is doing well and wrote you that letter. I wish my son was more open to us.... it just kills me that he is so closed around us. I too wish my son would show us his warm, funny, caring side. We just are not there yet.

But I am thankful that he seems to be ok and is hopefully moving forward. I kind of wantmore information but maybe it is better if i don't have it. I keep having to remember that this is his journey and I don't need to know every stop he makes.

 

[Nancy]

Well both our difficult child's are safe in their sober houses for now. They must feel he is ready. If you called would they give you any information? I understand sometimes we don't want to know, but like you, I usually would like more information because I usually expect the worst.

Finding a job is so important. I'm afraid my difficult child will have a hard time at that also. She isn't allowed to work for the first three months. Let's hope both of them land on their feet. You know I'm crossing my fingers for you.

Nancy

 

[toughlovin]

I have been emailing his therapist. She has been out the last couple of days so hasn't seen him but she will let me know. I am sure they felt he was ready and it sounds like he did too.... so I am hopeful but cautious. And yeah I think you and I are alike in our worry and wanting to know... and our difficult children sounds similar in many ways too.... good think they aren't meeting each other!!! I think he is having a hard time finding a job and I am sure that is discouraging, and it doesn't help that he has a felony on his record either. Gosh I sure wish this economy would get better.

 

[Star*]

TL,

This is totally awesome, wonderful news. You're right about the felony; that's been the hardest thing for our son too - but I gotta think that somewhere out there are more Moms like us in charge of places that are willing to give kids like ours at least....a chance. It's my prayer for our kids that finally do turn around and want it. I'm so happy for you to have one less burden today. Congratulations. More angels ----more angels. As far as the warm fuzzies? Eh....well? Dude never got into drugs, but it did take him about a year or so out on his own before he really came around to being anywhere near what I'd hoped for - hang in there, and give your son time. YOUR son IS in there - he's just got a lot of battles to fight to get back home to you.

Hugs and Congratulations
Star

 

[toughlovin]

Well I heard today the rehab (not the sober house) is closing.... ugh I don't know what that means if anything for him. There was still a connection there. The good news is it sounds like the therapists are going out on their own and will still work with him and go to the sober house for meetings so at least he has that continuity. Thank goodness he had done the major rehab already... but this may be why he went back a few days early. Anyway this all adds to my insecurity about how he is doing... but hopefully he is on track. I realize at some level I need to stop focusing on every detail... and let him have his journey. It is so hard to do that though.

 

[Nancy]

What?!? How can that be?

Nancy

 

[toughlovin]

Not sure.....I didn't see it coming. Sounds like the therapists are going to keep providing clinical services somehow with th sober house, at least that is my hope. It worries me though.