He is on his own path!

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Sep 10, 2014.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Hi everyone,

    Thank you for all the support. It has been a really tough week with my emotions. I am doing better now in many ways though. My difficult child has taken off on a crazy venture. He decided to leave town which I dont think is his best decision but I also understand him not wanting to go back to jail. He is with a new girlfriend who seems nice and grounded (or as much as she could be given that she is with him).

    So what makes me feel better is that he did risk meeting me to say goodbye. So we had a warm goodbye with some hugs. I gave them some groceries to take...... just because I am a mom and want to show I love him. I asked him to please be in touch once a week to let me know he is ok because I worry. He agreed to do that.

    He didnt ask me for anything and it was a warm and loving interchange.

    He really is on his own journey doing this his way and that is what he needs to do right now. I get that and I think he knows I get that.

    Its crazy and unrealistic.....but it feels so so much better to me than imagining him depressed and suicidal and living by himself on the street.

    He seemed sober and the girlfriend does not seem like an addict. (yes of course what do I know?)

    So anyway we shall see what happens next.... but I am in a better place for now.


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  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TL I have come to realze that everyone does not have the same life path that we feel comfortable with for ourselves but it is what they need for themselves at the tie. You did what I would have done also, packed some food, gave him a hug and some food and asked him to stay in touch. He has shown over and over again that he has to do things his way for him to be happy, he is not happy in the world you and I may wish he would be.

    I will keep him in my prayers that his journey is safe and peaceful and legal (had to add that in). And I wish you peace with his decision. He will always be your son TL and you will always love him, he knows that.
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  3. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    I am SO glad you are doing better.

    Yes, our difficult child's live their lives differently than us...but to know your son is safe for now and will keep in touch is a good thing.
    I'm glad you two saw each other before he left town and I'm also glad you like the girlfriend.

    I will also keep you and difficult child in my prayers.
    "It takes what it takes."
  4. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Thanks Nancy and LMS.... yes I hope he keeps things legal....but if he doesn't then he will have to deal with the consequences. I am at peace with the fact that this is his journey ,although you are right none of his journey so far is one I would choose for him.

    And at least with our parting I felt like he knew I love him, and I know he loves me. That made a huge difference to me. I havent heard from him and I wish I would but I am not worrying right now as I dont think I will hear from him for awhile. I have to assume no news is good news for the moment.


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  5. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    You know, he is his own person - he's shown that many, many times, lol!

    While I don't agree with what he's doing, it seems that he's with someone who cares, and he DID take quite a risk seeing you to say goodbye. That's actually very sweet, in my opinion. I wish him safe and clean travels. Like Ol' Blue Eyes, he can truly say, "I did it MY Way!"
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Have you ever noticed some of our kids were just born at the wrong time? Your son would have been one of those great explorer's who went west and mined for gold. He would have probably homesteaded like Laura Ingals...lol. Or helped build the railroads across this country. Or maybe pirates.

    Some of our kids just arent meant for walls and strict rules.