He is pushing me to the edge

[ML]

I am just so exhausted. I don't know why but all of a sudden difficult child's gfgness is REALLY showing. Yesterday he went to the school *nurse* complaining of a stomach ache. He wasn't sick. I probably need to tell them not to call unless he has a fever or obvious symptoms. But then again this is the first time he's done this so I may just let it go. I'm sure it was anxiety related but unless he makes it a habit I guess I won't worry about it.

Suddenly he's all adhd/spectrumy and can't sit still. He's into everything. Purposefully bothering you and getting in your space and defying you. It's so draining. He wants another pet. We used to have a cockatiel and it flew away. It was very dirty and we were all allergic to it so we're going rounds with him about this. We're willing to consider other pets like reptiles or snails (yeah, I didn't know they were pets either). So as husband and difficult child were heading to the pet store to check it out he whispers to me "don't be suprised if we come home with a bird, I'm a VERY good begger".!!! The little stinker. He's made us all miserable today with his tears and hysterics and says this to me. He's pushing pushing and I'm just not at the top of my game anymore. If I ever was with all this.

So I'm feeling very sorry for myself today. I don't like my life very much right now. It's hard dealing with it all alone. I know that I have no choice but to just make it through each day but right now I wonder if I can.

For some reason he always wakes up at the crack of dawn on Saturday. During the week I have to wake him up but for some reason Saturdays are no sleep zone around here.

ML

 

[klmno]

Sorry you are having such a rough day. At least you get a short break- although you might have an addition to the family soon as a result! Take a breather! Can you squeeze in a long bath with a book or a nap or something else enjoyable?

Are you comfortable with his diagnosis? He sounds similar to mine- but then all of our difficult child's here have some similarities.

 

[ML]

I can't see anyone else's signature. What am I doing wrong?

I think he is very high level pddnos or aspergers. That is my gut. I have a friend whose son is bipolar and she thinks he's more on that side of things and that I'm crazy to keep insisting on spectrum stuff. I'm so confused. I just know that he is a difficult child and pray that some day I will have a diagnosis that feels right.

Thank you for responding to me ML

 

[klmno]

Has he had neuropsychologist testing and seen a psychiatrist for input? I don't know much about the spectrum- others on board do who can offer some great input on that. Mine has "mood disorder"- basicly, he cycles and has some other issues that appear to "help" trigger it, and it is questionable whether or not he's truly bipolar but he takes mood stabilizers. A couple of things in your post raised red flags for me along the same lines- but they might be common red flags for other types of things too- which you obviously already know.

Just try to enjoy your evening. I don't know that hardening up on him will really solve anything. Follow your gut and keep being the good Mom that you are!

 

[sandman3]

ML,
I know exactly how you feel about Saturday mornings! I have to DRAG my kids out of bed on weekdays for school (which doesn't start until 9:15 here), but come Saturday and Sunday morning, they're up at 6:30! OMG, it completely freaks me out! Sorry you're having a rough day, hang in there!

 

[Wiped Out]

I'm sorry he is struggling. I know how exhausting it is-sending understanding hugs your way.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

It's GOT to be spring fever kicking in. Or am I the only one who has noticed the sharp increase of GFF-ness in the air?

I am so sorry Michelle. Mega hugs.

 

[timer lady]

ML,

I have found days like this to be draining - you feel like you have no options but to sit down & have a good cry. That might be a good response for you at this time.

I'd like to offer this to you - please don't take it the wrong way. It's a hard thing to accomplish. I found after 2 or 3 years of constant chaos & seeing my tweedles take control that I had to take that control back. I had to teach myself to react differently to my little "wonders" comments, behaviors & antics.

The one that works the best is "excuse me - redo that". It stops kt in her tracks most days. For wm, "is that going to work for you - knock it off". Again it works most days that I see him.

And there will be days when a good cry & a promise that tomorrow will be a different day. It took me a long time that it has to be my reaction, my response to kt & wm's behaviors & talk.

I literally stood in front of the mirror & practiced my responses with that mother's evil eye. The only other people I've seen use this (in person) is my mother when she was alive & foster mum at group home where wm lives. I remember teaching to hold myself as tall as I could (I'm 5'2") with my shoulders held high & back.

It's almost like becoming the alpha in a pack of dogs.

I'm sorry you had such a rough time - hoping today goes better for you & yours.

 

[KTMom91]

BBK, spring fever definitely has something to do with it...I spent two days in first grade and one in second last week...and they were all fired up! Michele, I agree with timerlady on using the evil eye...my family calls it my "manager face"...before going back to school for my teaching credential I was in retail management. They all know (Hubby included) that when I'm wearing my "manager face" someone is in trouble. Big hugs to you...hope your weekend is better.

 

[klmno]

Yes, difficult child's worst times are between holidays and spring break. But, this year I noticed a more direct correlation between spring weather and what is going on at school. Here, the school puts the pressure on during winter quarter (with homework, projects, and higher expectations regarding behavior) and they are under pressure themselves due to the testing (standards of learning and regional required tests) that are getting ready to start. Their performance (individually and as an sd) is based on the students' test results. This popped out in my face like a meteor falling in the back yard this time and I can't help but wonder if this has something to do with our difficult child's having more meltdowns and such, since they have a difficult enough time going with the flow under the best of circumstances.

(((HUGS)))

 

[ML]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all the input so much and I am just grateful for your insights. TL, I am 5 1" so I hear you on the projecting the tallness lol. I think I yell too much too. I probably need to work on the consequence thing so when I do pick a battle I'm ready to go "in". It's hard to know when they're having a day like that because you'd have them in time out (or whatever) the entire day. I heard that I'm the worst mom in the history of moms which was a new high for me lol. He didn't get a pet yeterday so maybe I took back some control? If he had been rewarded with a pet after his disrespectful behavior it would have sent a wrong message. They didn't have snails and he had a meltdown in the store and tried to talk us into buying him things we weren't keen on like a frog. They But boy was it a rough day. He's with his dad today so I will have time to regroup and practice my evil eye. Hugs ML