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Parent Emeritus
He just does not get it
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 630082" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>You've gotten such good advice. If he is mentally ill and has any background from a doctor that would verify this, you might want to help him apply for disability.</p><p></p><p>We have at times, temporarily gotten our daughter a McDonalds gift card. Record the number and 1 800 refill number. You can refill it very easily. It is so NOT an ideal situation, but if you honestly believe he is starving and this bothers you, from time to time, you can put money on the card easily and it is not necessary for you to mail it. Just make sure he has it on his person. Remember, if you do this or something like it, you must set limits and boundaries, because he WILL immediately attempt to abuse it.</p><p></p><p>HOWEVER, I would NOT do this or anything like it if he is rude to you. Period. You can simply say that if you are hungry, once or twice a month, I will put money for approximately three meals on your McDonalds card. However, if you use a single cuss word, I will hang up.</p><p>Then REALLY hang up. Also consider getting and giving him the number to apply for food stamps. Limit your conversations with him. Set BOUNDARIES and STICK to them. Don't hesitate to hang up if he cusses or is rude. Use call caller ID.</p><p></p><p>Read up on setting boundaries with adult children and detachment. GREATLY LIMIT your conversations and time with him and again, don't listen to him AT ALL if he is rude or cussing.</p><p>Example: "son, you just cussed. I'm not sending you food money, you may call again in two days and I will listen to you if and only if you are polite and not cussing. Click."</p><p></p><p>Al Anon sounds like a great idea! </p><p>Sending thoughts of strength to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 630082, member: 4152"] You've gotten such good advice. If he is mentally ill and has any background from a doctor that would verify this, you might want to help him apply for disability. We have at times, temporarily gotten our daughter a McDonalds gift card. Record the number and 1 800 refill number. You can refill it very easily. It is so NOT an ideal situation, but if you honestly believe he is starving and this bothers you, from time to time, you can put money on the card easily and it is not necessary for you to mail it. Just make sure he has it on his person. Remember, if you do this or something like it, you must set limits and boundaries, because he WILL immediately attempt to abuse it. HOWEVER, I would NOT do this or anything like it if he is rude to you. Period. You can simply say that if you are hungry, once or twice a month, I will put money for approximately three meals on your McDonalds card. However, if you use a single cuss word, I will hang up. Then REALLY hang up. Also consider getting and giving him the number to apply for food stamps. Limit your conversations with him. Set BOUNDARIES and STICK to them. Don't hesitate to hang up if he cusses or is rude. Use call caller ID. Read up on setting boundaries with adult children and detachment. GREATLY LIMIT your conversations and time with him and again, don't listen to him AT ALL if he is rude or cussing. Example: "son, you just cussed. I'm not sending you food money, you may call again in two days and I will listen to you if and only if you are polite and not cussing. Click." Al Anon sounds like a great idea! Sending thoughts of strength to you. [/QUOTE]
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He just does not get it
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