He Looks Like......omg

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Jul 10, 2011.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    When I took Katie and kayla home after the baby shower, the boys and M came outside to great us.

    Remember when I told you that at xmas M looked like he'd just spent years in a concentration camp? I mean he was emaciated beyond belief then......

    Katie had said something a while back about him being so sick and he'd lost so much weight, and honestly I just dismissed it as her usual whining. Figured she was going to use his being sick as an excuse for his lost job or something.

    Now I've worked in hospitals with some critically ill people. I've seen emaciated many many many times. But the image of him walking out to the parking lot keeps replaying in my head because I seriously have never seen someone so severely emaciated able to walk. It wouldn't be an overstatement to say he looks like the walking dead. I think I could literally span his waist with my hands. Granted, he wasn't walking well.....but he was walking. I kept waiting for him to fall over.

    AIDS keeps popping to mind. Not HIV, but full blown AIDS.

    Could be the meth I suppose, but if it was just the meth I'd think it would've done him in with the way he looks.

    Whatever it is, he does not look like a man with long to live.

    According to katie the ER blew him off when he went in there so "sick". Well, that doesn't surprise me. He looks like a hard core addict and they'd assume first that he was drug seeking.

    And I doubt seriously if the man has ever been tested for HIV or AIDS. Katie either for that matter.

    Katie herself is very thin.

    I *think* though that it is the meth. Katie gave Nichole 2 baby sleepers and a pooh bear. (someone had given Evan the pooh bear, katie snatched it from him for the baby I learned from kayla) Nichole had to throw away the sleepers they reeked so foul. They never made it out of the park with them. She didn't want to smell it all the way home. The pooh smells but not quite as bad as the clothes did. She's planning to try to wash the heck out of it, but if she can't get the smell out it's going into the trash too.

    She told me it smelled exactly the way katie's old apartment smelled. Which tells me it smelled like the meth, because that's what katie's apartment used to reek of, among other things. Once you've smelled that over the top rank foul take your breath away smell you never forget it.

    I'm assuming that since this is the first time they've had a steady income they've actually had control over.......as much as possible is going for meth. If that's the case, M won't be around much longer.

    Not that I'm going to cry about that at all. Except then katie would get even MORE money from social security in death benefits. (seems never ending)
  2. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Lisa, is there any chance at all that they might be MAKING meth in that apartment and not just using it? It would be bad enough if they were just using it around the kids and exposing them to all that mess, but if they're actually making it there, the whole darned place could blow up!

    When you described the way he looks, what I was thinking was AIDS or even TB! Would he have had to be tested for TB to have been allowed to work in that restaurant?
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I would think if they were making it there the neighbors would have reported it. One would hope, anyway. Sounds like Katie is following right behind M, too.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I know a meth user and my own daughter used meth at one time. They first get very skinny then they start to look like death. So it could be meth without the AIDS, but with the needles, who knows?

    Have you thought of calling CPS to help those poor kids? They need to get out of that environment. Sounds like neither of them are capable of being parents.
  5. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I don't know much about it, but things like the baby clothes that had just been in that apartment, would they smell that strongly if they were just using it there and not making it? I've always heard that once you've smelled it, you will know it when you smell it again. When my brother had car trouble and had to borrow his wife's niece's car for a few days to get to work, he said the smell of it was so strong in that car that he had to drive with the windows wide open ... in January!

    One thing for sure - whether they're using it or making it, those kids sure don't need to be around that!
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    If I recall from bff talking about it, if you smoke it........where you smoked it will reek beyond belief, for quite a while, even with airing it out ect.

    If they were making it, I doubt neighbors could miss it and they'd report them because the smell is truly horrendous. So I don't think they're making it.

    Our cps will not move on such vague drug suspicions. Honestly, I'm not sure if they'd move if I saw them smoking it or shooting it or whatever the heck they decide to do with it. I know they didn't when I tried mult times with bff toward the end because it was so bad. Worse yet? Cops knew that house was filled with drugs, addicts, and pushers and still wouldn't do anything. They wanted the big fish, not the little guppies. ugh It's such a rampant issue here that in their defense to some degree both cops and cps are more than overwhelmed.

    No. The kids don't need to be around it. But I'm pretty sure they've been exposed to it their whole lives. I just think when they were with biomom since it was HER money they were spending they had to at least wait for times when she wasn't around to use.
  7. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Lisa, does hepatitus make people get like that? I know when I worked at the prison, a lot of the inmates who had been heavy drug users also had hepatitus on top of all the other ailments they had.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Not that I recall no. He'd have other symptoms that would scream at me Hepatitis long before something like weight loss. I mean, you may see weight loss with it if you're not being treated at all and have had it for a while, but I doubt to that extreme. He'd be too physically sick to function if that were the case.

    And I'm a weird sort of person when I'm around other people. I "assess" them automatically. I've done it as long as I can remember. I've not picked up on any yellowing of the whites of his eyes or skin tone. And I detected that in bff long before her doctor diagnosed it. I started doing this as a kid as a survival thing, to avoid abuse if possible. I had a memory for faces/body type ect that amazed people. Once I had the training, medical stuff also gets picked up on, anything out of the ordinary.

    Example. I noticed Connor's eyes crossing when they were just ever so barely out of alignment......now most of the time they tend to touch his nose. I noticed he lagged behind terribly in fine motor. At 10 mos he doesn't have the pincher grasp. He uses a sweeping motion and palms food to his mouth instead. At first very unsuccessfully. But we've been practicing with cheerios and already seeing improvement. Connor also does the back bend deal Travis used to do.....and would've been injured a lot except Nana responds to it pretty automatic due to Travis having done it too. He head butts, head bangs. He's hooked on music. There are some issues going on there. Now this is one I did not attend the birth of, so as far as I knew nothing out of the ordinary happened. But once I brought these things up to easy child.......and she finally accepted they were happening (she has problems with that) she told me they had issues with his heart rate dropping dangerously low during labor and some other issues with the birth.

    I pick up on things that are "off" about someone immediately or within a few minutes. I don't even mean to, just happens. Like I said, I'm a bit weird. lol

    I actually attempted to ignore his presence completely.......but the dramatic weight loss drew my attention like a magnet. I've seen patients dying of cancer look better than he does right now.
  9. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I think the smell is the biggest clue. It's scary that the kids are around that, Katie must be doing it too, because she wouldn't like the smell if she didn't do it. Why is he there at the apt? Is he allowed there now?
    Nobody would hire him looking like that. I'm surprised a hospital wouldn't look into what's wrong, unless they did look into it and determined he just a drug addict, not sick with an illness they can treat.
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    According to katie he is allowed there. If she's lying, they'll be caught and evicted. So I just let that one go.

    The bulk of our hospital's ER patients are addicts. They're very experienced dealing with them.
  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    How good are the chances they're manufacturing, Lisa?
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Pretty slim Mary. The apartments are not that spacious, neighbors would report the horrid odor, and she has to pass a full apartment inspection every 30 days by HUD. She most likely has her hands full just trying to get the reek out of the house before inspection.
  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I don't suppose there is any chance that you could talk to her and express your fears for his health? If it is not drugs perhaps she would want to encourage him to have blood tests etc. Her response might be an indicator of what the true problem might be. Certainly there is a free health clinic available. I would hope so. I'm so sorry that your saga continues with so much worry and pain. Sending hugs. DDD
  14. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Of all the inmates I saw at work, the only ones who looked like what you describe were the ones in the last stages of AIDS. I saw one guy like that who literally looked like a walking skeleton! I couldn't believe that he was still walking around! His arms and legs were like sticks. His midsection was just a ribcage and then it caved in almost all the way back to his spine, just bizarre looking! But who knows what all M might have. Personally I could care less what happens to him, but I hope you will urge Katie to talk him into going to some kind of free clinic to find out what's going on with him. My concern would be that he might have something that those innocent kids could catch!
  15. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    Meth abusers with the weight loss that he has usually would have (at this stage) skin sores, meth mouth, teeth loss, in addition to the weight loss. I am not doubting for a second that there is a smell because of the foul identifiable odor associated and known with this drug, I'm just thinking there may be something else going on here.

    I have to agree with Donna about the AIDS or cancer. Without blood work it's all clearly speculation (except for the smell) but if he's in pain from a cancer or a tumor? (Let's just say) and is doing drugs to get rid of the pain? I think someone could tell him that he looks awful and got that way quickly, he has children that really would miss him if he didn't take care of himself. He qualifies for Medicaid just for a check up I would imagine - I mean he qualifies for everyotherfreedamthing...and honestly (as selfish as it sounds) If something were to happen to him? I'm thinking this would put Katie on your doorstep with three children. Or would put her over the edge and deep into drugs and the children into foster care OR on your doorstep. Not doing negative projecting here -and granted this jerk probably doesn't deserve anyone even saying good morning to him. But throwing out different ideas just for the sake of the what if.

    AND if it is found out through testing for cancer that he's ON drugs - maybe they'd get him some help and her too? (Okay that was really far out fairy tale thinking but it could happen)

    And again to agree with Donna -----WHAT IF - the kids catch it.
  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, as it turns out, before I came to the board a bit ago.......I found an email from her. So while I was responding, I brought up his weight and how it concerns me a great deal. It does, oddly enough, I just can't get it out of my head for some reason. And the thoughts are associated with doom and gloom feelings if you know what I mean. Not that I'm especially concerned for his welfare......but there are the kids to think about and they're living there too. And you're right, I don't know for sure what it is.

    He does have meth mouth. That's a for sure there. And I'm pretty sure on the skin sores and heaven above knows the man reeks of something. I try to always stay downwind of him. Even here after a shower he managed to reek. (and I always scrubbed out the tub when he was done, it was that bad)

    One of my thoughts was hyperthyroidism........but seriously if he has it that bad, he'd already be dead. I know, my dad had to have his removed due to extreme rapid weight loss. It doesn't take long to find yourself in serious condition. (like a week or two usually)

    Katie's weight also concerns me, but she's thin, not emaciated.

    She got back to me already. Says it's because of the food stamp issue and they don't have enough food to eat. Oh yeah, sure. M supposedly makes the kids eat before he does (how utterly noble of him)................Ok, umm, like I believe that. I saw him here and that most certainly was NOT the case. And she's blaming it on him having to walk everywhere. Which is stupid, he's always walked everywhere. Honestly, right now there is really no where for him to walk TO, except walmart or something which is only about 2 city blocks away from them.

    Says he can't get rid of the horrible cough he has either. And ignored the whole you need to have him checked by a doctor asap thing. So pretty much makes it drug related. If he was losing like that for some reason not obvious to them, I don't doubt he'd be at a doctor in nothing flat, money or not money. He's that self centered.
  17. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    *up wind, not down wind* lol ewwww
  18. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    We had to take classes on drugs at work all the time and they showed us some really disturbing movies about meth users. Does M have any other noticable things like skin lesions or rotting teeth? Like Star said, someone who has that serious a problem with meth would show a lot of other signs besides just the weight loss. They have all the skin lesions and sometimes scratch big patches of their skin off because the drug makes them feel like they have "bugs" crawling under their skin ... really gross! If he has the weight loss but none of the other signs, I too would suspect AIDS or some kind of cancer.

    Whoops! You and I must have been posting at the same time!
  19. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Is there any possibility that he could have TB along with the drug abuse? Especially if he has a persistent cough! Seems like I'm hearing of more and more people coming down with it now. Would he have had to get some kind of health permit (including a TB skin test) before he worked at that restaurant? That would be really bad if he has something like that around those kids and exposes them to it.
  20. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I *think* (not sure as I've never worked doing what he does) they're required a tb test since he'd be working with dishes people eat off of. But like I said, I have no clue if this is true or not.

    I should add that he's also a heavy smoker when he has the cash for it. So his chronic cough could just be smoker's cough.....maybe a bit of Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD).