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He makes me so angry.. UPDATE!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 95509" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Karen, </p><p></p><p>Sometimes I think we are our own best counselors and don't even know it - like you...you said </p><p></p><p>QUOTE: I don't understand why he can't just take his daughter out to a restaurant for lunch, by himself, and spend time with her that way for a while. No, he has to create this family. </p><p></p><p>Yes, that's exactly what he's doing. Remember when I said he has lost his comfort zone and will do whatever he can to make himself comfortable again? This is it! - And you dear, can see that for a mile. Very good. </p><p></p><p>If life is a play - there have to be players/actors. In your HP's play there is the MAIN character (and that is being so polite on my part) the husband, the wife, the daughter and the son. Each has a role they play. Without the wife, daughter and son - the husband has "no play". It could be called the MAN show - but (I'm being so polite) that takes him out of his comfort zone. He wants the person(s) playing to role of wife to do what the script says. When he tires of how that person does in her role as wife - he replaces her and auditions another. If there is a daughter along? Bonus - if not I would suspect he'll keep going until he only finds a woman with children. </p><p></p><p>And shame on HER for introducing her daughter to your HP. I think that RIGHT THERE would tell you what kind of woman she is, where her moral character stands, and what she thinks of her daughters feelings. I'm sure her daughter is just THRILLED about "daddy". - think about it Karen - she's a teen and her Mother is the town hussy chasing after a married (allbeit STBD man). That is sending a LOVELY message to the teenage daughter. </p><p></p><p>As far as that house being "yours" - well at this juncture, 1/2 of the assests in your marriage or maybe more due to infidelity are yours. What is tearing at you - is the years, and memories of that house that were yours. Karen, they could burn that house down tomorrow and you would still have your memories. That's something that woman will NEVER have. Even if she chose to live with him the next 30 years - she gets the mid-life crisis and geriatric years - and if he's needy now - eesh - 80 should be a blast. Don't ya think? (insert a laugh here) haha. Are you picturing that? Yeah - now you laugh. </p><p></p><p>K, there is no way that NONE of this is going to hurt you. And for that I'm really sorry. You are a good person, a very good person. You are a fantastic MOM, a good friend to us here and you should give yourself some credit for all the good you possess. YOU are getting counseling to make sure that you don't make or repeat the same mistakes in your life again and that is commendable. You took steps to get out of an abusive situation and that is fantastic. You are hurting right now and the best thing I can offer is a bit of been there done that advice and a hug. Nothing that anyone says is going to make watching someone else play what you considered YOUR role any easier. </p><p></p><p>A different life will come along some day and when it finds you - it will be so peaceful, with more laughter and less crying. More caring and less aggravation. You will have people in your life surrounding a brand new, improved Karen and YOU will be happy with yourself. When that day comes I hope we're still friends and I hope I get to hear about it. The days you are living now will become but a bad memory and you will sit someday drinking wine wondering how you ever got through it or why you even cared to cry over someone who doesn't deserve you. </p><p></p><p>Have a good day friend - Have the kind of day that's as beautiful as you are. There's more truth in that than you know. </p><p></p><p>Tissues - </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 95509, member: 4964"] Karen, Sometimes I think we are our own best counselors and don't even know it - like you...you said QUOTE: I don't understand why he can't just take his daughter out to a restaurant for lunch, by himself, and spend time with her that way for a while. No, he has to create this family. Yes, that's exactly what he's doing. Remember when I said he has lost his comfort zone and will do whatever he can to make himself comfortable again? This is it! - And you dear, can see that for a mile. Very good. If life is a play - there have to be players/actors. In your HP's play there is the MAIN character (and that is being so polite on my part) the husband, the wife, the daughter and the son. Each has a role they play. Without the wife, daughter and son - the husband has "no play". It could be called the MAN show - but (I'm being so polite) that takes him out of his comfort zone. He wants the person(s) playing to role of wife to do what the script says. When he tires of how that person does in her role as wife - he replaces her and auditions another. If there is a daughter along? Bonus - if not I would suspect he'll keep going until he only finds a woman with children. And shame on HER for introducing her daughter to your HP. I think that RIGHT THERE would tell you what kind of woman she is, where her moral character stands, and what she thinks of her daughters feelings. I'm sure her daughter is just THRILLED about "daddy". - think about it Karen - she's a teen and her Mother is the town hussy chasing after a married (allbeit STBD man). That is sending a LOVELY message to the teenage daughter. As far as that house being "yours" - well at this juncture, 1/2 of the assests in your marriage or maybe more due to infidelity are yours. What is tearing at you - is the years, and memories of that house that were yours. Karen, they could burn that house down tomorrow and you would still have your memories. That's something that woman will NEVER have. Even if she chose to live with him the next 30 years - she gets the mid-life crisis and geriatric years - and if he's needy now - eesh - 80 should be a blast. Don't ya think? (insert a laugh here) haha. Are you picturing that? Yeah - now you laugh. K, there is no way that NONE of this is going to hurt you. And for that I'm really sorry. You are a good person, a very good person. You are a fantastic MOM, a good friend to us here and you should give yourself some credit for all the good you possess. YOU are getting counseling to make sure that you don't make or repeat the same mistakes in your life again and that is commendable. You took steps to get out of an abusive situation and that is fantastic. You are hurting right now and the best thing I can offer is a bit of been there done that advice and a hug. Nothing that anyone says is going to make watching someone else play what you considered YOUR role any easier. A different life will come along some day and when it finds you - it will be so peaceful, with more laughter and less crying. More caring and less aggravation. You will have people in your life surrounding a brand new, improved Karen and YOU will be happy with yourself. When that day comes I hope we're still friends and I hope I get to hear about it. The days you are living now will become but a bad memory and you will sit someday drinking wine wondering how you ever got through it or why you even cared to cry over someone who doesn't deserve you. Have a good day friend - Have the kind of day that's as beautiful as you are. There's more truth in that than you know. Tissues - Star [/QUOTE]
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He makes me so angry.. UPDATE!!!!
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