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The Watercooler
He really doesn't get it...GRRRRR...
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 436184" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I'm sorry you are hurting. CTS is very painful. Maybe you can just sit down with hubby and have a face to face and heart to heart and say your peace and explain how you feel, how you appreciate him and how when this is all over what you'd like to do for each other. Think of something you would both enjoy - so you BOTH have something to look forward to doing TOGETHER. Weathering surgery is NEVER EVER FUN. I have already told DF after his back surgery had it NOT been for his sister? I would have smothered him with a pillow, and then done something ugly. He was an AWFUL Sweedish patient. I have NO, NONE, NADA, ZIP bedside maner because when I get injured? I want to be left alone. NO babying, no help nothing. Even if I have to put VICS on my back? I'll tape wax paper on the wall, smear it on the paper -and rub my back on the paper...I want NO help. This irritates him - but to me it's like "If he does that for me? It's an open invitation for him to ask ME to be the entire 5th floor of a hospital wing if he gets a cold." Not happening and it makes me angry if he asks. I can't be a nurse, I'm not a nursey, helpful type - You get sick? I can go to work, but I want to be left out of your healing process. I can't help - I don't want to help - I'm no good at it. I feel like I'm in the way I wish you'd pick someone else. ANYONE but me. I don't know if that's how your hubby feels, but that's me.....I've spent a lot of my younger years sick and being doted over - and I think as I got older I can not stand to be helped. It's very rare that I ask for anything. It could be that he's in the boat like that. I dunno. It may have something to do with his love language too, and yours may be service - </p><p> </p><p>I do get the calls at target, and trying to get to the phone - I have a standing rule about my phone - IF i answer it - I talke to you. If I don't ? It means I didn't answer it - leave me a message and I'll call you back when I can. If you keep calling me? Calling me? Calling me? I will call you back but the house had better be on fire and you had already had better have called 9-1-1. I'm not married to my phone....and he refuses to learn how to text - so this is our deal. It's also vice versa. So far - the house stands, and no one is irritated by the phone. </p><p> </p><p>I am really sorry you are hurting - I know CTS is painful. MAYBE there is a medications increase you can call your docs office and get something a little stronger. Those stitches shouldn't feel like they are pulling out. I do know that much. I'm proud of miss KT too - Way To Go kiddo. No matter what? 12 hours working or whatever - for right now? husband's part in this is going to have to be to suck it up and deal with more around the house. If he can't nurse you? Then he can't do it - but the rest sadly for him is what it is - not too much he can do about it - and you can appreciate him later with a day off out or - something - but right now? Deal with it. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs & Love - I really do hope you feel better soon - and call your doctor tomorrow - get something better for the pain.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 436184, member: 4964"] I'm sorry you are hurting. CTS is very painful. Maybe you can just sit down with hubby and have a face to face and heart to heart and say your peace and explain how you feel, how you appreciate him and how when this is all over what you'd like to do for each other. Think of something you would both enjoy - so you BOTH have something to look forward to doing TOGETHER. Weathering surgery is NEVER EVER FUN. I have already told DF after his back surgery had it NOT been for his sister? I would have smothered him with a pillow, and then done something ugly. He was an AWFUL Sweedish patient. I have NO, NONE, NADA, ZIP bedside maner because when I get injured? I want to be left alone. NO babying, no help nothing. Even if I have to put VICS on my back? I'll tape wax paper on the wall, smear it on the paper -and rub my back on the paper...I want NO help. This irritates him - but to me it's like "If he does that for me? It's an open invitation for him to ask ME to be the entire 5th floor of a hospital wing if he gets a cold." Not happening and it makes me angry if he asks. I can't be a nurse, I'm not a nursey, helpful type - You get sick? I can go to work, but I want to be left out of your healing process. I can't help - I don't want to help - I'm no good at it. I feel like I'm in the way I wish you'd pick someone else. ANYONE but me. I don't know if that's how your hubby feels, but that's me.....I've spent a lot of my younger years sick and being doted over - and I think as I got older I can not stand to be helped. It's very rare that I ask for anything. It could be that he's in the boat like that. I dunno. It may have something to do with his love language too, and yours may be service - I do get the calls at target, and trying to get to the phone - I have a standing rule about my phone - IF i answer it - I talke to you. If I don't ? It means I didn't answer it - leave me a message and I'll call you back when I can. If you keep calling me? Calling me? Calling me? I will call you back but the house had better be on fire and you had already had better have called 9-1-1. I'm not married to my phone....and he refuses to learn how to text - so this is our deal. It's also vice versa. So far - the house stands, and no one is irritated by the phone. I am really sorry you are hurting - I know CTS is painful. MAYBE there is a medications increase you can call your docs office and get something a little stronger. Those stitches shouldn't feel like they are pulling out. I do know that much. I'm proud of miss KT too - Way To Go kiddo. No matter what? 12 hours working or whatever - for right now? husband's part in this is going to have to be to suck it up and deal with more around the house. If he can't nurse you? Then he can't do it - but the rest sadly for him is what it is - not too much he can do about it - and you can appreciate him later with a day off out or - something - but right now? Deal with it. Hugs & Love - I really do hope you feel better soon - and call your doctor tomorrow - get something better for the pain. [/QUOTE]
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He really doesn't get it...GRRRRR...
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