He stole over $1000 dollars from us after we stupidly let him back in!

[GoingNorth]

There are a LOT of reasons couples or individuals decide they don't want children. Remember, your children are under no obligation to "give" you grandchildren.

Whatever the reason your child decides not to reproduce, it is perfectly valid and legitimate.

My husband and I made that decision after several years of fertility tx in Germany. We found out what the problem was (with me), but treatment wasn't available.

When we returned stateside in 92, we found out that tx was available, but after 11 years of living the childfree lifestyle, husband and I realized that we were comfortable and happy without children and decided to live our lives childfree.

Even now, as a lonely widow, I have no regrets. At no time have I wished I had had children.

Please respect your children's decisions as regarding reproductive choices.

 

[Kalahou]

Just to let you know I am following along NightOwl. You show strength and relative peace with how you are dealing with all these issues.You are an encouraging example to me. I'm keeping you in thoughts and best wishes. Take care of yourself.

 

[RN0441]

Going North:

I would never interfere in their decision.

However his girlfriend is afraid of the childbirth pain - so who isn't the first time. She postponed much needed sinus surgery for many years due to this fear.

But I never bring it up. I don't think the decision is really based on anything more than silliness.

 

[Echolette]

Lol, he wants you to bring him the jacket he bought with the money he stole from you! That is my favorite part! (and I can totally imagine my Difficult Child saying that).
In all seriousness, my heart and head ache for you. This is a lot. And you are doing admirably.

 

[A dad]

I think people can get addicted to anything at a certain level but as long as they support their addiction without breaking the law well there is no problem. When you do it is a problem.

 

[witzend]

I know that my son would have spent it on games. Those were his addiction. I can't be so single minded as to think that this must be drugs or alcohol or games or sex. He's an addict, it doesn't matter what his drug of choice is.

I'm just starting into the thread. Have you asked him to leave? You are absolutely right - he has stolen food from your children's mouths. One day you would have used that money for your family. I won't say you should call the police, because I am having difficulties with the idea of prisons at this point. It seems clear to me that the depression was a result of his addiction, whatever that was.

Thanks SWOT. He spent nearly half of it on a game console and video games and accessories that I stupidly believed he won in a contest. He admitted that much. He says he spent the rest on food and clothes, but I think he has some of the cash somewhere. Could be drugs but I see no evidence. His teen brothers think maybe he might have spent it on a prostitute as he has never had a girlfriend and he had condoms in his bag (we searched it before he left).

I told him that before he left that I love him and always will but he is in his own now. I do not want contact with him at all. I encouraged him to get into therapy and work on his issues so he can have a happy life, but I will not be part of that. He will need to figure things out on his own from now on. The officer who took the report also advised me to secure my accounts, home, etc. He was so kind. I am very pregnant (37 weeks!) and emotions are raw so it was appreciated.

 

[witzend]

Lol, he wants you to bring him the jacket he bought with the money he stole from you! That is my favorite part! (and I can totally imagine my Difficult Child saying that).

He probably wants to sell it to someone.