TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
I certainly wasn't expecting THAT.
Yesterday, I called "girlfriend's" parents. Got a hold of dad. He was very nice and open. He said his wife had told him she had already spoken to my husband and he thought it was under control. I told him it was not.
I emphasized that I still wanted them to be friends, and that maybe they could have 1 hr a day, at a pre-set time, to talk on the phone. (I think that was Marg's idea.) He said his style is just to cut the kids off, and I countered that may encourage them to sneak more. I told him he didn't have to decide right that minute, but to give it some thought.
He also suggested that a younger brother might be calling and hanging up. I said we had lots of those calls, particularly with-baby talk. He said, yes, that's the one!
So the girlfriend wasn't the sole culprit.
difficult child approached me while I was talking. I thought, uh-oh, he's going to grab the phone out of my hand and be embarrassed and we'll get into it. But he wanted something else (he was looking for something).
After I hung up, I said, "Please don't interrupt me on the phone. I was talking to J's dad."
"I know. Thank you."
Whoah. He was sick of it, too!!! Now that I think of it, he did stop returning her calls, which was one reason she called back so much. Sigh.
Anyway, I am glad the phone isn't ringing off the hook any more.
Today, difficult child got a call from another person whose name I didn't recognize. I stayed on the extension because I thought it was a different friend (long story). Apparently this was one of J's friends, intervening or facilitating, telling difficult child that J had lost her phone privileges and asking if he still liked J.
His responses were, in order, "Whatever," and
"Yeah."
Click.
This is fine for a 13-yr-old boy, but when he gets into "real" relationships, it's not going to cut the mustard. In the meantime, apparently they think he's a cool dude--too cool to talk a lot.
Yesterday, I called "girlfriend's" parents. Got a hold of dad. He was very nice and open. He said his wife had told him she had already spoken to my husband and he thought it was under control. I told him it was not.
I emphasized that I still wanted them to be friends, and that maybe they could have 1 hr a day, at a pre-set time, to talk on the phone. (I think that was Marg's idea.) He said his style is just to cut the kids off, and I countered that may encourage them to sneak more. I told him he didn't have to decide right that minute, but to give it some thought.
He also suggested that a younger brother might be calling and hanging up. I said we had lots of those calls, particularly with-baby talk. He said, yes, that's the one!
So the girlfriend wasn't the sole culprit.
difficult child approached me while I was talking. I thought, uh-oh, he's going to grab the phone out of my hand and be embarrassed and we'll get into it. But he wanted something else (he was looking for something).
After I hung up, I said, "Please don't interrupt me on the phone. I was talking to J's dad."
"I know. Thank you."
Whoah. He was sick of it, too!!! Now that I think of it, he did stop returning her calls, which was one reason she called back so much. Sigh.
Anyway, I am glad the phone isn't ringing off the hook any more.
Today, difficult child got a call from another person whose name I didn't recognize. I stayed on the extension because I thought it was a different friend (long story). Apparently this was one of J's friends, intervening or facilitating, telling difficult child that J had lost her phone privileges and asking if he still liked J.
His responses were, in order, "Whatever," and
"Yeah."
Click.
This is fine for a 13-yr-old boy, but when he gets into "real" relationships, it's not going to cut the mustard. In the meantime, apparently they think he's a cool dude--too cool to talk a lot.