He wants me to have all the answers.....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tracy551, Mar 24, 2007.

  1. tracy551

    tracy551 New Member

    My 16 year old difficult child is in a shelter waiting for his evaluation this coming week. He is able to call me every evening which is ok. But every night he's asking me the same questions over and over... "did you talk to anyone?, what are they going to ask me?, what are you going to say?, Am I going to be placed?, etc, etc." This driving me nuts. Don't get me wrong I love my son with all of my heart no matter what he has done which has been alot, but I can hardly wait to get off the phone with him some nights. When he was home I had the answers to keep him out of placement (go to school, come home at night, be respectful, and so on) He didn't want to hear any of it. Now when I tell him if he would of listened to my answers before we wouldn't be where we are now. he of course gets mad and thats only because he knows I'm right.
    I'm just venting here. Does any one have a child who once they are placed and I truely believe he will be going to residential they feel you as a parent should "SAVE" them from what "THEY" have done???
  2. oceans

    oceans New Member

    I think that kids need to own up to what they have done, and sometimes it is when they end up in a place they don't want to be that they awaken. In some cases they need to be on the right medication to have a fully successful awakening and to start walking the walk they need in order to begin their life again. The structure in residential will certainly help, but might not be the total key to solving the puzzle.

    Does he have a diagnoses of any sort, or has he had evaluations done? Is he on any medications right now?
  3. tracy551

    tracy551 New Member

    He has had numerous evaluations. But as far aas diagnosis and medications we have never had any definate. I've been told ADD, ADHA, ODD, Depression, and we have been on many different medications. Nothing ever seemed to help for any period of time. Adderal made him lose so much weight he looked sick serzone put him to sleep for hours, wellbutrin didn't do anything, risperidal nothing, I've actually lost track of all the names. Toward the end when I would give him his medications he would pretend to take them and as soon as I'd turn my back it was gone where ever he could hide it.
    So as I said we're waited on the next evaluation with a new doctor maybe this one will be better.
    wish me luck for the sake of the rest of my family
  4. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Good luck, hun.

    My 8 yr old just had an "awakening" according to his therapist in the psychiatric hospital...he just started some medications (Risperdal) and told his therapist that he finally realizes that his rages weren't helping him in any way at all to get what he wanted (though my difficult child is a *very* bright kid...it's quite possible he said what he thought the therapist wanted to hear! LOL).

    I hope your son gets the help he needs and I'm sending some cyber hugs your way to help you through this difficult time!
  5. oceans

    oceans New Member

    I am wishing you much luck! It was not until mine was hospitalized and a mood stabilizer was added that he came out of his depression. We had tried a zillion medications as well. His diagnoses had been ADD and depression, mood disorder, and MDD for years. Now they don't know what to call it, but he is better. I hope that this evaluation will do something to help his situation and you find some medications that will help! I know how hard it is to go through!