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He won't cope
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 195068" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>This is very tricky. I can feel your fears however, I can also see this as a way for difficult child to get you and husband on separate sides. difficult child is trying to get you on his side - trying to get you to say that husband was 100 percent completely wrong and that difficult child is once again a victim.</p><p> </p><p>And, the suicide threat always has to be watched. We never know for sure what our kids really plan to do. They could just be planting that fear to use as a tool but then again they could be planning.</p><p> </p><p>You did try to discuss what his options were to survive if he did find himself kicked out. He doesn't want to hear that because that will change his victim status.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe it is time for you and husband to sit down and discuss possibilities. husband doesn't want to abandon difficult child, however, he has set criteria for behaviors in his house. Maybe if the two of you can plan where difficult child might go, what he needs to do to continue to survive (work? - how to get to work - etc.)</p><p> </p><p>Then talk to difficult child again (together). As a team, talk to him about having a plan to follow for the time he does move out (rather being kicked out or his discission to leave). What are his options? How can he meet the rent costs? Try to express that someday he will be living on his own and he needs to start learning those skills now. Point out to him his strengths that will help make this happen.</p><p> </p><p>Time to turn that victim into a survivor. Hopefully this can happen before he is kicked out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 195068, member: 5096"] This is very tricky. I can feel your fears however, I can also see this as a way for difficult child to get you and husband on separate sides. difficult child is trying to get you on his side - trying to get you to say that husband was 100 percent completely wrong and that difficult child is once again a victim. And, the suicide threat always has to be watched. We never know for sure what our kids really plan to do. They could just be planting that fear to use as a tool but then again they could be planning. You did try to discuss what his options were to survive if he did find himself kicked out. He doesn't want to hear that because that will change his victim status. Maybe it is time for you and husband to sit down and discuss possibilities. husband doesn't want to abandon difficult child, however, he has set criteria for behaviors in his house. Maybe if the two of you can plan where difficult child might go, what he needs to do to continue to survive (work? - how to get to work - etc.) Then talk to difficult child again (together). As a team, talk to him about having a plan to follow for the time he does move out (rather being kicked out or his discission to leave). What are his options? How can he meet the rent costs? Try to express that someday he will be living on his own and he needs to start learning those skills now. Point out to him his strengths that will help make this happen. Time to turn that victim into a survivor. Hopefully this can happen before he is kicked out. [/QUOTE]
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He won't cope
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