Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
He won't cope
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="janebrain" data-source="post: 195193" data-attributes="member: 3208"><p>I think one of the problems here is that husband thinks that if he emphasizes how difficult child can't possibly survive on his own then that will keep difficult child from doing the things that will get him kicked out of the house. That can never work. Now we have husband in the position of either A) follow through on his threats of kicking difficult child out or B) back down. Either way husband is in a losing situation since he doesn't really want to kick difficult child out but he doesn't want difficult child to think he doesn't mean what he says.</p><p></p><p>husband has to figure out where his own boundaries are and what he is capable of doing. There is no point in threatening difficult child with kicking him out if husband can't feel okay with following through.</p><p></p><p>husband is now in a power struggle with difficult child and difficult child will win. difficult child will do something to make husband kick him out. husband's plan of getting difficult child to behave by making him think he can't survive on his own will not work. husband can't play these mind games with difficult child-difficult children are masters of mind games and manipulation, we can't compete on that level! difficult child will cut off his nose to spite his face in order to maintain control. He isn't thinking the same way that husband is.</p><p></p><p>I wish I could write better--I know what I want to say but not how to say it! Hope this makes some sense, maybe someone else can explain it better!<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="janebrain, post: 195193, member: 3208"] I think one of the problems here is that husband thinks that if he emphasizes how difficult child can't possibly survive on his own then that will keep difficult child from doing the things that will get him kicked out of the house. That can never work. Now we have husband in the position of either A) follow through on his threats of kicking difficult child out or B) back down. Either way husband is in a losing situation since he doesn't really want to kick difficult child out but he doesn't want difficult child to think he doesn't mean what he says. husband has to figure out where his own boundaries are and what he is capable of doing. There is no point in threatening difficult child with kicking him out if husband can't feel okay with following through. husband is now in a power struggle with difficult child and difficult child will win. difficult child will do something to make husband kick him out. husband's plan of getting difficult child to behave by making him think he can't survive on his own will not work. husband can't play these mind games with difficult child-difficult children are masters of mind games and manipulation, we can't compete on that level! difficult child will cut off his nose to spite his face in order to maintain control. He isn't thinking the same way that husband is. I wish I could write better--I know what I want to say but not how to say it! Hope this makes some sense, maybe someone else can explain it better!:) Jane [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
He won't cope
Top