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He won't cope
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<blockquote data-quote="goldenguru" data-source="post: 195205" data-attributes="member: 1545"><p>janebrain makes a very valid point. What message is your husband sending to your son?</p><p></p><p>That if son doesn't live in your home that he "won't survive". Not surviving may equate (in your son's mind at least) to death. Your son sounds very defeated. </p><p></p><p>Perhaps your husband could reconsider the defeated message he is sending to your son. Perhaps husband could give him a message that empowers your son. Something like "These are our rules. You can choose to live by them - or not. If you choose to leave our home - this is what we are willing to do to help you (be very time specific - amount specific - activity specific, etc.) We believe you have the right to live your life the way you want to live your life. Yada Yada". See the difference? </p><p></p><p>When we send people the message that they are powerless - even powerless over their own lives - they tend to believe it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="goldenguru, post: 195205, member: 1545"] janebrain makes a very valid point. What message is your husband sending to your son? That if son doesn't live in your home that he "won't survive". Not surviving may equate (in your son's mind at least) to death. Your son sounds very defeated. Perhaps your husband could reconsider the defeated message he is sending to your son. Perhaps husband could give him a message that empowers your son. Something like "These are our rules. You can choose to live by them - or not. If you choose to leave our home - this is what we are willing to do to help you (be very time specific - amount specific - activity specific, etc.) We believe you have the right to live your life the way you want to live your life. Yada Yada". See the difference? When we send people the message that they are powerless - even powerless over their own lives - they tend to believe it. [/QUOTE]
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