headed for a 4th DUI it seems

Sunlight

Active Member
ant had a blackout and remembers nothing. I friend told him he not only ran frmo police but the girl had pulled the e-brake and put the car in reverse so the car hit the cop car and ant jumped out and ran before they tazered him. we do not know why they let him go, and he said he didnt sign anything. I am sure it will unfold come monday.
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
I'm sorry, Janet. The "not knowing" is so much harder than having facts to face. Sending supportive thoughts. DDD
 

everywoman

Well-Known Member
Janet, I understand your frustration and disppointment. It seems after a while they would learn--unfortunately addiction doesn't work that way. He really needs to find a program that works for him if he is to ever find freedom from the demons that haunt him.
 

SunnyFlorida

Active Member
Jeez Louise............what's going on????? Ant and DDD's easy child/difficult child? both????

2.8 is pretty dang high! I'm surprised he didn't think he shouldn't drive either!

Why or why didn't they just walk or call or cab? or better yet, stay home and drink?

Sorry Janet, just venting. I'm really, really sorry. Like you said, I'm sure it will unfold next week. I betcha too it's just one county not coordinating all their details. A little surprising that they let him get a ride home, but I just know it's all going to come to a head soon.

Saying prayers with you.
 

amstrong

New Member
Janet,

I was so sorry to read this. Now you have to wait for the other shoe to drop-and I am quite sure it will. Like when difficult child did his dui total the car thing. They sent him to hospital in ambulance and then sent a letter a week later telling him there was a warrant and that he needed to come in!?! I don't understand why they don't take action right away. You would think they would want to get someone off the streets who seems to be a menace to himself and others.

I am praying for you guys.

Hugs,
 

Sunlight

Active Member
so much to think about...in answer to some questions:

ant has had multiple psychiatric evaluations since age 13 and while in jail last year. the diagnosis is always the same-substance abuse, anxiety, depression.

he has been thru a few programs. they didnt help. he had been RX Klonipin, and trazadone at various stages, but with no insurance and no money, he stopped going for counseling and getting medications-I would have paid for this myself but he refused.

he is not a drug addict. he drinks beer-tons of it. the night it happened, the bartender was giving out free shots of whiskey and of course he drank so many he had a blackout. the girl who owned the car was too drunk too. he was only a mile or so from his apartment. the cops saw him cross the center line of a very busy highway. the put their lights on and he took off. a chase followed, the girl got scared and pulled on the e-brake. she also threw it in reverse, causing it to hit the cop car behind them. ant took off running. the tazer left marks on him as well as a bloody shirt back. he has scratches and other stuff from the scuffle.

he only remembers the tazer and being told to call for a ride home. the other details were filled in by the girl-by the way I have known her family all my life, she is ant's age and a drinker as well.

yesterday he called the cops who had originally pulled him in. they were very courteous to him and told him they are filing charges of DUI, evading police, and driving without a license.

I do not think they know he is on probation in another county. The counties are small, who knows if they even check. for all they know it is his first DUI so they let him go. they said he will get a letter in the mail telling him when the arraignment is, and they do not expect jail time.

I believe within a few days the PO will be notified and he will be in jail again for the violation of probation.

for now, ant is sick and horrified, devastated and fearful of jail. he wants to die but said he will live for me and Kaleb. I called my family doctor and will take ant there this week to get on medications for anxiety if at all possible. could not get in til thursday. I am thinking if he is on medications when he is taken to jail, perhaps they will allow him to continue. it is nearly impossible to see a jail doctor. long wait list.

I hope they dont come for him til later in the week so we can get that done. it doesnt look good, but then again, only God knows so I have to believe it will be for the best.

if the cops had not stopped him, he might have killed himself, the girl or other innocents. I am glad they stopped him. I am sad to know jail doesnt help, there are no programs, it is a human holding tank that is all. the reason I spent money on a lawyer last time was because he told me he could get ant sent to a long term rehab instead of jail. he couldnt-they are all so full with long waiting lists.

I believe God intervened to give ant time to get ready to face what is next. My best hope would be house arrest with work release so he can continue his job with boyfriend and have a chance to see kaleb. please pray for my son.
 

hearthope

New Member
Gosh Janet after all you have been thru with Ant, I don't know what to say. I will pray for you and him.

I don't know how you hold up so close to all of his antics.

I think one reason I am holding on so well is I don't know the ends and outs of what my son is doing.

I hear enough to know it is not good, but I continue to detach and know in my heart that there is really nothing I can do but wait for him to hit bottom.

Ant knew exactly what chances he was taking by getting behind that wheel, detach from him Janet. You can no longer rescue Ant from his bad choices.

Cherish Kaleb and yourself now.

You and Ant will be in my prayers,


Traci :flower:
 

Sunlight

Active Member
there is no rescuing of ant to be done. he will face this and has no choice. alcoholism is a disease that he hasnt dealt with properly yet. it robs him of his ability to remember the consequences it seems.

I will not get a lawyer, but I will help him get anxiety medications if he is willing to take them. I also will store his stuff this time til he gets out again.

he has had a few alcoholic blackouts and this was one. the high BAC is proof of it as well as his lack of memory, so his alcoholism is worse now. I may have initially said it wrong but his was .028 and the cops said he should have been dead.
 

saving grace

New Member
Janet, I am sick over this, I am sitting here weeping for you, weeping for Ant and Kaleb.

What were the terms of his probabtion? I so wish he could get into a program. What if he looked in to an outpatient program and got an appointment this week, maybe the judge would consider that and let him continue rather than jail time.

Grace
 
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