heading to the principals office

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by EStephens, Aug 9, 2012.

  1. EStephens

    EStephens New Member

    Monday I meet with the counselor and the principal for my difficult child's school. This year he will be changing classes and he will have 7 different teachers.

    I am looking for some help in how to address them without being overbearing or rude. I want to go to the meeting with all my eggs in a row and a plan of action.

    The school wants to place difficult child in Special Education and they have told me that he might fall behind regular classes and I have said Not Happening because he gets bored with his AP classwork.
    Help please.
    Thanks in advance
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    What kinds of accommodations and interventions do YOU think he needs?
    Obviously, it's not "academic assistance".
    Transitioning? (moving from class to class)
    A "safe base" if things get too overwhelming?

    If they are pushing for Special Education and you want mainstream, I'd be wary of asking for a full-time aide. But he may need one in the classroom who can keep an eye out for him, be a bit of an advocate, etc. (Our school usually has 2 levels of aide... 1:1, and about 1:5... the second is much easier to get!) A 1:1 aide means intensive needs... which for some schools, means they believe the child belongs in Special Education.
  3. EStephens

    EStephens New Member

    Ooooo good points. Yes he needs a safe base and transitioning help and organization help. I also want to see if there is anyway I could get him to write down his assignments each day.

    The school has not offered an aide and from what I understand they won't unless I stage a coo and throw a wall eyed fit, which I don't plan on. The Special Education dept in the elementary had 9 kids, two aides, and a teacher. Way too much work for 3 people I thought.
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I have an "introduction to difficult child 1" letter that I gave to all his teachers. It was a 1 page brief overview of difficult child 1's thinking trends and ways to help with the transitions, taking breaks, working somewhere less distracting when doing seatwork (after the lesson). difficult child 1 HATES writing and the school INSISTED that he do it. difficult child 1 came up with the idea of a little voice recorder that he would say his homework into after each class (he was allowed to leave 2 minutes before everyone else so no one knew. They let him try it (reluctantly waiting for him to fail) and low and behold, it worked wonders!!

    I also agree with IC that it might work easier if you come up with things you already know are going to be issues and come up with some "ideas" that will or might work based on your years of experience. Also, don't be afraid to tell them something won't work and why if they come up with something "in the box".

    Good luck and let us know how it goes.
  5. EStephens

    EStephens New Member

    The visit with the principal and counselor went AWESOME!!! They wanted to talk to difficult child about school, home, and his hobbies. They even sat through a 10 minute talk about Legend of Zelda (he is an expert about it) and they asked questions so they could understand it. They never minimalized or talked down to him. difficult child was a trooper and he answered all of their questions and even asked them some.
    I had a sheet printed out that explained some of our "funness" and the principal asked if he could copy it and give to the teachers. The counselor thanked me for making the list. The counselor also made a spot just for difficult child in her office and a spot on her shelf for a box of things that can calm him or redirect him!!
    We took a tour of the school and he stimmed very minimally. He asked questions and only changed subjects a few times.
    difficult child was a gentleman and shook everyone's hand (even the receptionist) and thanked them for their time. He may have just been mimicking me but I was one proud momma. And at the end he gave the principal a hug. That was HUGE for difficult child because he has only a handful of people he trusts enough to hug and the principal earned his trust in like 45 minutes. And that is the first time I have ever seen that happen. Thank you Lord for favor!!!
  6. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    That IS a good sign, the counselor's preparations as well as the principal's seeming interest. The hug IS also huge. You should be proud of your difficult child. In my book, he did AWESOME. Tell him his board auntie is so very proud of him too. The more you share, the more he reminds me of my difficult child 1. Glad it went well. Hopefully the teachers will be on the same page as the counselor and principal. That would make for a very successful school year.
  7. EStephens

    EStephens New Member

    Just an update. We went to meet the teacher night last night and only 1 of the 7 teachers difficult child will have has taken the time to read the paper the principal sent them. So only 1 knew what I was talking about!!!! And for the most part I was absolutely blown off as if they didn't have time to discuss anything.
    Side note, my heart really broke at one point. My difficult child was pumped about seeing one of his friends so I hung back so he could go talk to him. difficult child had awkward posture, awkward speech, and just kinda stared at the kid. A few moms were in the room and they were giggling at him. Thank God difficult child didn't realize it, but momma did. As soon as I cleared my throat and gave them an ugly look they both had other places to be. It's more sad to me that difficult child is so awkward even around people he considers friends, but the fact that grown mothers would act like a bully to my son is not fun either.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would be none to happy with those parents-that is just plain sad and rude-inexcusable!!
  9. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Sad to say but the teachers' reactions don't surprise me. That's pretty much what I encountered. I hope that doesn't cause too many problems for difficult child like it eventually did for my difficult child 1. As for the other moms, I'm with WO. That is just plain rude. No wonder "neurotypical" kids are the way they are toward our difficult child's with parents like that. Glad difficult child didn't see it and I'm VERY proud of you for letting them know you saw them. People like that need to be "busted" more often.....or better yet, end up with difficult child's of their own.......times 10.
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I know I'm hormonal right now (ok too much information but ....really....) that brought me to tears. I can just feel your difficult child standing there wishing for the social interaction he was so pumped for. I could picture myself smiling, a knowing and supportive smile, but no way could I imagine laughing at someone who was struggling. Really no excuse for that and I am sorry you had to witness it.

    I am also sorry about the disappointing results with the teachers. I'd follow up with intro emails, saying it was great to meet them maybe?? and how glad you are to know that they have the information from their principal. If they have any questions to let you know and you will be checking in soon at the conferences to see how the accommodations mentioned are working in their classes. ??? There will still be lazy ones but it may get attention of a couple. Those first set up days I found many teachers did not read the IEP information I gave them as a case manager when I worked in the schools, it was so frustrating to have to go back, and usually it was the same teachers over and over. But some just needed time, and once the child was a real face they actually saw they did much better as well. I will hold out hope for you and difficult child for now....(sure gets tiring having to be so pro active, hyper-vigilant, and diplomatic, huh?)
  11. EStephens

    EStephens New Member

    Buddy you nailed it! I did want to cry,but difficult child was never any the wiser. Small town Bull Snot really gets me sometimes!!
    I have to say though that the 1 teacher that did read the letter had almost memorized it!! She even had spoken to his super hero teacher from last year to get pointers. I should be grateful for the gift I was given, not the small minds that hoovered my evening.