S
Signorina
Guest
That's great news - and I think all of us difficult child moms know exactly what you mean. It's about reaching out to our child within the difficult child.
I was talking to my mom about it this morning. I don't mean to be religious - but I can't help thinking about the biblical story of "The Prodigal Son." Only because it's a comfort to me to realize that OUR story of parenting difficult children is a tale older than time. Not something WE did wrong, it's a universal experience that cuts across time, culture, and demographics.
Most of us admit to being rebellious and slightly out of control (tho under the radar) at least once in our formative years. We all managed to turn it around and learn from it. While it's true that we know those who didn't learn from it (or worse), there are far more happy endings than not. And while I hate to go all pollyanna; seeing a glimpse of the easy child within the difficult child is what gives us hope.
And hope is a good thing - especially when we have a grip on the reality and do not enable. And the strength in numbers here combined with the soft landing place plus the encouragement and gentle reminders "not to enable" is what gives me the ability to function, literally to put one foot in front of the other.
(FWIW, I went to a HS bff's spectacular wedding last weekend. She was a card carrying difficult child from age 15 until 19 and floundering until about age 35. Alcoholic diagnosis'd at age 17 (but sober since 18),went to rehab, broke off an engagement to a really great guy at 22, has years and years of AA under her belt but she had many false starts school wise (college, art school, massage school, etc), and many false starts career wise. Lover of bad boys (and a preacher's daughter), she dated rebels from the day we met at 15. Punk rockers, burnouts, drop outs, even an abuser. A week ago, she married the man of her (mother's) dreams: a squeaky clean cut, educated, successful man (employed by a military college no less) and is incredibly happy and one of the most stable people I know. So, never give up hope. )
I was talking to my mom about it this morning. I don't mean to be religious - but I can't help thinking about the biblical story of "The Prodigal Son." Only because it's a comfort to me to realize that OUR story of parenting difficult children is a tale older than time. Not something WE did wrong, it's a universal experience that cuts across time, culture, and demographics.
Most of us admit to being rebellious and slightly out of control (tho under the radar) at least once in our formative years. We all managed to turn it around and learn from it. While it's true that we know those who didn't learn from it (or worse), there are far more happy endings than not. And while I hate to go all pollyanna; seeing a glimpse of the easy child within the difficult child is what gives us hope.
And hope is a good thing - especially when we have a grip on the reality and do not enable. And the strength in numbers here combined with the soft landing place plus the encouragement and gentle reminders "not to enable" is what gives me the ability to function, literally to put one foot in front of the other.
(FWIW, I went to a HS bff's spectacular wedding last weekend. She was a card carrying difficult child from age 15 until 19 and floundering until about age 35. Alcoholic diagnosis'd at age 17 (but sober since 18),went to rehab, broke off an engagement to a really great guy at 22, has years and years of AA under her belt but she had many false starts school wise (college, art school, massage school, etc), and many false starts career wise. Lover of bad boys (and a preacher's daughter), she dated rebels from the day we met at 15. Punk rockers, burnouts, drop outs, even an abuser. A week ago, she married the man of her (mother's) dreams: a squeaky clean cut, educated, successful man (employed by a military college no less) and is incredibly happy and one of the most stable people I know. So, never give up hope. )
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