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Heard from Gfg32 after a month of silence
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 622379" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Seeking,</p><p></p><p>I am glad you posted to let us know. These periods of dysfunctional contact are so very hard. I bleed a little in my own mommy heart for you. It is hard to be attacked under any circumstances, by anyone...but being attacked by our own adult children, once they are past the hissing nasty of adolesence, strikes deep to our core.</p><p></p><p>I am struck by how just plain hostile and aggressive he is. I can't imagine what he thinks to gain from this...which speaks, as you mentioned, to his disordered thinking. What does he think posting to the local newspaper will do? Seems highly unlikely they will print anything (more disordered thinking). All these venues are used to people trying to use them to exercise vendettas...they will recognize this for what it is. </p><p></p><p>And starting with "hey A...." I mean really, what? Is he trying to bully or scare you into supporting him (yes I think in some weird way he is).</p><p></p><p>He will have to work through this angry explosive and outward blaming emotional state himself. Only he can do that. We cannot know how long it will last...weeks, months, years. Likely at some point he will turn on girlfriend's family (in fact I sort of wonder if they are backing a way a bit too, leading to his angry outburst)</p><p></p><p>You know, this has made me realize for the first time that I think I have taken in other people's difficult children for a few weeks or even months at a time. My easy child/exGFG daughter (difficult child's twin) likes to collect them. Her hapless, never graduated from high school (but he is SO SMART, mom!!) boyfriend lived in our basement for several weeks, in a yucky little pile of messy. I bought him toiletries and asked him to clean up after himself, but it was too much. I eventually threw him out when I found him in my daughters bed, expressly against house rules (she was 17--like my mom, I know what is going on, but I have house rules). He has gone on to a series of short term jobs and supposed educational opportunities that never materialize. Happily they broke up. I 'm thinking now that he might have been sending mean emails to his parents about how I was his only family...I could hardly tolerate him! and last summer easy child daughter brought her roommate from college to live with us..first she was going to pay a small amount of rent, but then it took her a bit to get a job...somehow I totally let her live off of us for 2 1/2 months. She too brought a boy home (slept with him in the room right beside my 14 year old sons) expressly against house rules. She never once cleaned her room, and actually got her period and messed up the new sheets and blankets I had bought for her...and didn't wash them all summer either. Left them in a pile when she left. Some one else's difficult child. And I fell for it.</p><p></p><p>I comment on that only because your son's relationship with girlfriend and her family sounds kind of like that...easy child/exGFG daughter thinks these people are wonderful but unlucky, unfairly treated by life, and that she must share her advantages (and her mom) with them...it worries me about her, actually. </p><p></p><p>For you....I'm sorry you were caught in the swirl of his angry lashing out. He is angry about everything right now. Believe me, if he were doing well (working, stable living, happy relationship) he would be throwing that in your face, not actually understanding that you would feel relieved and happy for him.</p><p></p><p>I probably would not respond at all. I don't like to touch poison..delete both, or print them and save them in some file you don't look at if you think you might need them some day, but get them off your regular inboxes. I think any response will just open the door to more harassement, which is what this is. </p><p></p><p>I guess what I am trying to say is...this has nothing to do with you. You did nothing to evoke this. This is just thrashing. After you have a chance to recover from the shock waves, go back to what you have been doing. Pray for him. Enjoy each other. Take your trip. </p><p></p><p>Its all you can do. </p><p></p><p>Thinking of you today and all days,</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 622379, member: 17269"] Seeking, I am glad you posted to let us know. These periods of dysfunctional contact are so very hard. I bleed a little in my own mommy heart for you. It is hard to be attacked under any circumstances, by anyone...but being attacked by our own adult children, once they are past the hissing nasty of adolesence, strikes deep to our core. I am struck by how just plain hostile and aggressive he is. I can't imagine what he thinks to gain from this...which speaks, as you mentioned, to his disordered thinking. What does he think posting to the local newspaper will do? Seems highly unlikely they will print anything (more disordered thinking). All these venues are used to people trying to use them to exercise vendettas...they will recognize this for what it is. And starting with "hey A...." I mean really, what? Is he trying to bully or scare you into supporting him (yes I think in some weird way he is). He will have to work through this angry explosive and outward blaming emotional state himself. Only he can do that. We cannot know how long it will last...weeks, months, years. Likely at some point he will turn on girlfriend's family (in fact I sort of wonder if they are backing a way a bit too, leading to his angry outburst) You know, this has made me realize for the first time that I think I have taken in other people's difficult children for a few weeks or even months at a time. My easy child/exGFG daughter (difficult child's twin) likes to collect them. Her hapless, never graduated from high school (but he is SO SMART, mom!!) boyfriend lived in our basement for several weeks, in a yucky little pile of messy. I bought him toiletries and asked him to clean up after himself, but it was too much. I eventually threw him out when I found him in my daughters bed, expressly against house rules (she was 17--like my mom, I know what is going on, but I have house rules). He has gone on to a series of short term jobs and supposed educational opportunities that never materialize. Happily they broke up. I 'm thinking now that he might have been sending mean emails to his parents about how I was his only family...I could hardly tolerate him! and last summer easy child daughter brought her roommate from college to live with us..first she was going to pay a small amount of rent, but then it took her a bit to get a job...somehow I totally let her live off of us for 2 1/2 months. She too brought a boy home (slept with him in the room right beside my 14 year old sons) expressly against house rules. She never once cleaned her room, and actually got her period and messed up the new sheets and blankets I had bought for her...and didn't wash them all summer either. Left them in a pile when she left. Some one else's difficult child. And I fell for it. I comment on that only because your son's relationship with girlfriend and her family sounds kind of like that...easy child/exGFG daughter thinks these people are wonderful but unlucky, unfairly treated by life, and that she must share her advantages (and her mom) with them...it worries me about her, actually. For you....I'm sorry you were caught in the swirl of his angry lashing out. He is angry about everything right now. Believe me, if he were doing well (working, stable living, happy relationship) he would be throwing that in your face, not actually understanding that you would feel relieved and happy for him. I probably would not respond at all. I don't like to touch poison..delete both, or print them and save them in some file you don't look at if you think you might need them some day, but get them off your regular inboxes. I think any response will just open the door to more harassement, which is what this is. I guess what I am trying to say is...this has nothing to do with you. You did nothing to evoke this. This is just thrashing. After you have a chance to recover from the shock waves, go back to what you have been doing. Pray for him. Enjoy each other. Take your trip. Its all you can do. Thinking of you today and all days, Echo [/QUOTE]
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Heard from Gfg32 after a month of silence
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