Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DDD, Aug 31, 2007.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    How'd the phone interview go for your son? I've been waiting for
    an update....what an inpatient thing I am turning into!!
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I've been wondering how it went to. (keeping fingers crossed) :biggrin:
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Me too me too!!
  4. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Thank you all for thinking of my son! :biggrin:

    The interview went well. They are sending him an application and will add it to the 15 mth wait list.

    He said he would write them twice a week so they will see how serious he is and maybe move him further up the wait list.

    He said he needed a long program, that 2 -3 mths wasn't long enough ( yes, I almost dropped the phone! )
    and he felt like Canaan Land was the place for him.

    I said to maybe find a plan B, in case he was released sooner so that he would have somewhere set up to go.

    He remains content.

    He said that life just hit him in the face and he has to do something positive.

    I continue to feel blessed each time we talk. I don't know what God has planned for us but, he is surely being good to me right now allowing me to share in this transformation of my son.

    This is hearthope. I am the one that chased my son all over the state. The 'queen' of this is the last time, again.

    I feel so sorry for all the other moms going thru what I went thru for so long.

    There really is healing in detaching. I had not had peace for nearly five years, when I finally let go and let God I found peace.

    My son is in jail, by his own choices. I am finally making him suffer the FULL consequences of his actions.

    My easy child is happy. My marriage is intact. My family is becoming whole.

    My son has written me the most beautiful poem, he thanks me for the struggles I made raising him and his sister on my own away from the drugs of bio-dad. He thanks me for always providing him with a loving home, etc.

    If he was not in jail, away from the drugs and drinking, I would have never gotten that letter. He is healing now, just like the rest of us are. He is sober and able to think clearly.

    Thank you all for your prayers! We have all come a long way!!!!
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sounds great, Hearthope. Crossing body parts that all goes well.
  6. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    Fantastic news. Your progress is an inspiration. May other moms draw strength from you.

    I'm so happy for your son!!
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm so glad you're getting this quality time with your son. I hope he can get into Canaan Land. Sounds like he's serious. Saying prayers he sticks to the program.

  8. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Thank you all for the prayers and well wishes! We need alot!

    Everytime my son got out of a placement he knew he was coming home. Everytime he came home we all fell right back into the same family dynamics.

    He was warned over and over by so many people that if he didn't change his ways he would end up in adult jail. I think he always thought I would rescue him and make everything alright.

    That is what I had always done. He couldn't believe my words but my actions have no made him see.

    I don't want you all to think that I think everything is rosey and all our troubles are behind us, that is not true at all.

    I know the hard part has not even begun yet. I am getting my much needed break from the heartache I have suffered. My empty cup is being refilled.

    I have peace now that what ever happens I will have the strength to endure it only because I have giving responsibilty to my son. and I have turned it over to God.

    If my son changes his life and devotes himself to helping others, it will be his choice he makes.

    If my son gets out and continues to abuse drugs and dig himself in a deeper hole, it will be his choice he makes.

    We all want to see our children happy and healthy. But, it is really their choice to make, not ours.

    After all that has happened in our family, I still am aware that the hardest part is yet to come.

    It is easy to stay detached now that he is in jail. I know where he is and that he is safe.

    When he is released and hopefully continues to go into a program and is ready to stand on his own two feet, that is when the detachment will be hard.

    Thank you all for the support!!!! I would not have made it thru these last years without you all sharing your wisdom.

  9. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Traci - Your post reminds me of me! It is easy to detach and pat yourself on the back when they are in jail. I hate to say it but some of my most peaceful times was when my son was in jail. However, the last stint in jail for him we told him from the get go that he could not come back home. Find a place to go to recovery - somewhere that could help him. I sent him a lot of literature, called places, told him to write to them, etc. He promised me a lot but did not carry through when he got out. I didnt bail him out. He wanted me to. I saw him today. He came over about 9 this morning. He starts in on his probation is worrying him, the doctor needs to give him his Xanax prescription, etc., etc., by the time I took him to work I was exhausted from his anxiousness. I know that if he is back under my roof it would go back to the same thing. It always has and I dont have anything to go on that would make me think otherwise but if he had gone to a recovery house where they could take him to everything he needed to go to and also find him a job. He has to be willing to not get drunk and high and he is not willing to do that. It is so frustrating. :smile: