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heartsick over grandchildren
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 579689" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Im so sorry you are being put in this position. I have 4 grandchildren by 2 different sons. I can see myself in this position especially by one of them...and by my youngest it could happen quite soon with his youngest daughter. I am not looking forward to it at all. She is a 1 and a half year old handful. He is working out of town and her mother may not last as a basically single mom while he is gone for 3 weeks at a time. We will do what we need to do though.</p><p></p><p>I do think you have to decide exactly what you can handle. Can you take on raising 3 small kids all over again? If so, tell CPS that you are willing to take them on but no others. If you can only handle this 3 but the parents have to deal with their future behaviors...then put that to them. You can even talk about how often you want contact - supervised- with the parents. I would immediately stop helping your daughter in law and only help the grandchildren with items you know they can use. Buy them clothes, take them to the park, buy school supplies, Xmas, have them every other weekend and a couple of weeks in the summer. I wouldnt give the mother money unless you really want to and will have no feelings of resentment over it. </p><p></p><p>As far as them having more children, well that is totally irresponsible and something you should never have to endorse in anyway. I would never have anything to do with these future children. At sometime in the future you will have to explain to the first 3 grandchildren why this is happening so do be prepared for this conversation. Hopefully by then either cps will have removed all the kids or the parents will have gotten their act together and this will no longer be an issue.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 579689, member: 1514"] Im so sorry you are being put in this position. I have 4 grandchildren by 2 different sons. I can see myself in this position especially by one of them...and by my youngest it could happen quite soon with his youngest daughter. I am not looking forward to it at all. She is a 1 and a half year old handful. He is working out of town and her mother may not last as a basically single mom while he is gone for 3 weeks at a time. We will do what we need to do though. I do think you have to decide exactly what you can handle. Can you take on raising 3 small kids all over again? If so, tell CPS that you are willing to take them on but no others. If you can only handle this 3 but the parents have to deal with their future behaviors...then put that to them. You can even talk about how often you want contact - supervised- with the parents. I would immediately stop helping your daughter in law and only help the grandchildren with items you know they can use. Buy them clothes, take them to the park, buy school supplies, Xmas, have them every other weekend and a couple of weeks in the summer. I wouldnt give the mother money unless you really want to and will have no feelings of resentment over it. As far as them having more children, well that is totally irresponsible and something you should never have to endorse in anyway. I would never have anything to do with these future children. At sometime in the future you will have to explain to the first 3 grandchildren why this is happening so do be prepared for this conversation. Hopefully by then either cps will have removed all the kids or the parents will have gotten their act together and this will no longer be an issue. [/QUOTE]
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