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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 618817" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>For us, for all of us here, there is that added element of responsibility for a child. For us, it isn't just "I see." Until our children are grown, we are responsible for someone outside ourselves. There are so many questions, there is so much grief, before we learn that it is time, and past time, to let them go. Before we learn that we cannot go back, cannot call for a do over ~ cannot even figure out just what it is we would do differently. At some horrible point, we accept that for better or worse, our children are who they are; they are grown. And in the end, there is only the truth of letting go ~ another so difficult conclusion to reach and understand.</p><p></p><p>Nonetheless, it is what it is.</p><p></p><p>I could have spent the rest of my days in that safe little space I created between surviving and living. Strangely, that is where I thought I had to be, to accomplish what I intended to accomplish ~ to heal the generational line.... </p><p></p><p>Perhaps I did not have the right not to live, really live, in my life time.</p><p></p><p>This is the way my daughter talks, Recovering. She is not sorry. She has regrets, but she is not sorry. Do you see the difference? I think that you do.</p><p></p><p>Maybe, the next step for me will be gratitude that these terrible things happened, but I think not. </p><p></p><p>How does that old saying go? Something about pain ending the instant the sufferer no longer sees any value in it.</p><p></p><p>I like this very much, Recovering. </p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p><p></p><p>The imagery is simple and clear.</p><p></p><p>I do feel so deeply sad that this all happened, though.</p><p></p><p>Which is also a choice.</p><p></p><p>We have to see it before we can let it go.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 618817, member: 17461"] For us, for all of us here, there is that added element of responsibility for a child. For us, it isn't just "I see." Until our children are grown, we are responsible for someone outside ourselves. There are so many questions, there is so much grief, before we learn that it is time, and past time, to let them go. Before we learn that we cannot go back, cannot call for a do over ~ cannot even figure out just what it is we would do differently. At some horrible point, we accept that for better or worse, our children are who they are; they are grown. And in the end, there is only the truth of letting go ~ another so difficult conclusion to reach and understand. Nonetheless, it is what it is. I could have spent the rest of my days in that safe little space I created between surviving and living. Strangely, that is where I thought I had to be, to accomplish what I intended to accomplish ~ to heal the generational line.... Perhaps I did not have the right not to live, really live, in my life time. This is the way my daughter talks, Recovering. She is not sorry. She has regrets, but she is not sorry. Do you see the difference? I think that you do. Maybe, the next step for me will be gratitude that these terrible things happened, but I think not. How does that old saying go? Something about pain ending the instant the sufferer no longer sees any value in it. I like this very much, Recovering. Thank you. The imagery is simple and clear. I do feel so deeply sad that this all happened, though. Which is also a choice. We have to see it before we can let it go. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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