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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 619041" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Having gone through much of the healing of my childhood over a span of decades, it's sometimes difficult for me to imagine how lightning fast this is happening for you Cedar, it must be overwhelming sometimes. There were so many feelings for me to wade through, anger and grief taking first and second place, and at times it was intense. As in your dream, you are sailing through all of this at warp speed. You are one committed lady!</p><p></p><p>My detachment from my daughter was lit up for the last two years, before that there were long periods of time where it was somewhat quiet and I had long breaks. Detachment from my mother came about 5 years ago. Sister? About 16 years ago. Brother? 20 years ago. Each stage of this was at times pretty gruesome as I waded through all the feelings. My take on it is that I went through each person in order of how attached I was to them............mother and daughter being the last and really, no comparison in intensity to the detachment from anyone else.</p><p></p><p>Observing your process, it appears that you said, "BRING IT ON!" And, well, here it is..........as if it just all got dropped at your doorstep for you to wade through in a matter of months.............at least that's how it seems from the time I started riding along on your journey............holy s%#t, you are BRAVE!! AND, it must be remarkably difficult to sort through all the feelings. I had MASSIVE amounts of support from therapists, groups, wise people I ran into who helped me immensely (and sometimes never saw again!) and at times I was facilitating support groups which gave me lots of insights and offered many rewards because I met others who had very similar backgrounds and we all healed together. </p><p></p><p>I just wanted to say all that because you are so earnestly and so carefully moving through so much material and so many feelings, and, well, I guess I just want you to be gentle and loving towards yourself. You bit off so much and you are doing such a good job of it all.............and along the way, perhaps you could acknowledge yourself, be oh so kind to yourself, recognize how far you've come, be gentle and reassuring to yourself and own just how courageous, powerful, committed, wise and wonderful you are............and have always been, regardless of any snafus that occurred with your children..........you are pretty awesome Cedar and you always have been. You did the very best you could with what you knew...........that's all any of us can do. You are doing a wonderful job in this healing stuff.............really.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 619041, member: 13542"] Having gone through much of the healing of my childhood over a span of decades, it's sometimes difficult for me to imagine how lightning fast this is happening for you Cedar, it must be overwhelming sometimes. There were so many feelings for me to wade through, anger and grief taking first and second place, and at times it was intense. As in your dream, you are sailing through all of this at warp speed. You are one committed lady! My detachment from my daughter was lit up for the last two years, before that there were long periods of time where it was somewhat quiet and I had long breaks. Detachment from my mother came about 5 years ago. Sister? About 16 years ago. Brother? 20 years ago. Each stage of this was at times pretty gruesome as I waded through all the feelings. My take on it is that I went through each person in order of how attached I was to them............mother and daughter being the last and really, no comparison in intensity to the detachment from anyone else. Observing your process, it appears that you said, "BRING IT ON!" And, well, here it is..........as if it just all got dropped at your doorstep for you to wade through in a matter of months.............at least that's how it seems from the time I started riding along on your journey............holy s%#t, you are BRAVE!! AND, it must be remarkably difficult to sort through all the feelings. I had MASSIVE amounts of support from therapists, groups, wise people I ran into who helped me immensely (and sometimes never saw again!) and at times I was facilitating support groups which gave me lots of insights and offered many rewards because I met others who had very similar backgrounds and we all healed together. I just wanted to say all that because you are so earnestly and so carefully moving through so much material and so many feelings, and, well, I guess I just want you to be gentle and loving towards yourself. You bit off so much and you are doing such a good job of it all.............and along the way, perhaps you could acknowledge yourself, be oh so kind to yourself, recognize how far you've come, be gentle and reassuring to yourself and own just how courageous, powerful, committed, wise and wonderful you are............and have always been, regardless of any snafus that occurred with your children..........you are pretty awesome Cedar and you always have been. You did the very best you could with what you knew...........that's all any of us can do. You are doing a wonderful job in this healing stuff.............really. [/QUOTE]
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