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Helicopter parents.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 658855" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Jabber, I think it's about retaining control.</p><p>I think it is ok to be involved (not crazily involved) while they are minors. But after about sixteen? No. As adults? Absolutely infringing on their boundaries. We need to let them go, even if they are reluctant. We have no real right to hover over them at that age and criticize their choices or tell them what to do.They need to stand on their own. It can border on abusive to meddle in your adult child's life if it makes the adult feel terrible, and it can lead to estrangement on the adult child's part.</p><p></p><p>On the other hand some adults don't want to act like adults. For their own good, in my opinion they need to make their own decisions and learn to make good choices. If they don't, they need to know there are consequences.</p><p></p><p>Helping an adult child find psychiatric help, in my opinion is not enabling or being a helicopter parent UNLESS the adult child refuses and the adult parent keeps calling and nagging. I think it sounds like Suzir's son is in tune with her and is willing to listen to her suggestions, which is NOT enabling. It is a GOOD thing to guide ANY adult toward help and encourage this if they are willing. </p><p></p><p>But sticking one's nose in the personal life of an adult child is what I see as a helicopter parent. Always there. Pushing, pushing, pushing. Forcing a kid to be a cheerleader a nd a dancer and a straight A student and an athlete and popular...more for the parent than the child. If t his is still going on when the child is an adult, it can lead to some bad consequences for the parent AND the adult child, who never learns to be independent and also probably resents her parents not letting her grow up and living her own life.</p><p></p><p>Just my own unique definition <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 658855, member: 1550"] Jabber, I think it's about retaining control. I think it is ok to be involved (not crazily involved) while they are minors. But after about sixteen? No. As adults? Absolutely infringing on their boundaries. We need to let them go, even if they are reluctant. We have no real right to hover over them at that age and criticize their choices or tell them what to do.They need to stand on their own. It can border on abusive to meddle in your adult child's life if it makes the adult feel terrible, and it can lead to estrangement on the adult child's part. On the other hand some adults don't want to act like adults. For their own good, in my opinion they need to make their own decisions and learn to make good choices. If they don't, they need to know there are consequences. Helping an adult child find psychiatric help, in my opinion is not enabling or being a helicopter parent UNLESS the adult child refuses and the adult parent keeps calling and nagging. I think it sounds like Suzir's son is in tune with her and is willing to listen to her suggestions, which is NOT enabling. It is a GOOD thing to guide ANY adult toward help and encourage this if they are willing. But sticking one's nose in the personal life of an adult child is what I see as a helicopter parent. Always there. Pushing, pushing, pushing. Forcing a kid to be a cheerleader a nd a dancer and a straight A student and an athlete and popular...more for the parent than the child. If t his is still going on when the child is an adult, it can lead to some bad consequences for the parent AND the adult child, who never learns to be independent and also probably resents her parents not letting her grow up and living her own life. Just my own unique definition ;) [/QUOTE]
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