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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 512584" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Hello and welcome!</p><p></p><p>No - you are NOT the world's worst parent. My daughter pulled the same trick - running off and telling people that her parents had abandoned her and she didn't know what to do. I think you are right - she WAS expecting you to shower her with hugs and kisses.</p><p></p><p>Calling the therapist, I think, is the right thing to do...</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile, as hard as it is - I think you have to put away any items that have sentimental value. Lock up and pack away anything that you don't want to find destroyed. Your daughter is upset and angry and she is venting her feelings on you.</p><p></p><p>You have to do two things:</p><p></p><p>1) Protect yourself. Even though she is little and overly emotional, you have to have certain boundaries that she may not cross. She may not hit you. She may not throw things at you. She may not call you names / curse at you. You tell her that you will listen to her - but not if she treats you that way. If she does one of these things, remind her that she cannot do that to you and then WALK AWAY.</p><p></p><p>2) Validate her feelings. If you can, try to LISTEN to what she is expressing (and it's probably not going to be very clear). If she looks angry - tell her 'I see that you are angry'...see if you can talk about the angry feelings without interjecting any arguments or logic. (A good example - if somebody looks frightened...you acknowlege the fear without saying "but there's nothing to be scared of"). Just focus on the feelings. See if that will help her feel more "heard" and "understood" and "loved".</p><p></p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p></p><p>Hope this helps!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 512584, member: 6546"] Hello and welcome! No - you are NOT the world's worst parent. My daughter pulled the same trick - running off and telling people that her parents had abandoned her and she didn't know what to do. I think you are right - she WAS expecting you to shower her with hugs and kisses. Calling the therapist, I think, is the right thing to do... Meanwhile, as hard as it is - I think you have to put away any items that have sentimental value. Lock up and pack away anything that you don't want to find destroyed. Your daughter is upset and angry and she is venting her feelings on you. You have to do two things: 1) Protect yourself. Even though she is little and overly emotional, you have to have certain boundaries that she may not cross. She may not hit you. She may not throw things at you. She may not call you names / curse at you. You tell her that you will listen to her - but not if she treats you that way. If she does one of these things, remind her that she cannot do that to you and then WALK AWAY. 2) Validate her feelings. If you can, try to LISTEN to what she is expressing (and it's probably not going to be very clear). If she looks angry - tell her 'I see that you are angry'...see if you can talk about the angry feelings without interjecting any arguments or logic. (A good example - if somebody looks frightened...you acknowlege the fear without saying "but there's nothing to be scared of"). Just focus on the feelings. See if that will help her feel more "heard" and "understood" and "loved". (((Hugs))) Hope this helps! [/QUOTE]
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