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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 512596"><p>Just wanted to chime in with my take on the runaway-trashing incident. She's feeling abandoned by her dad. When things are good there, she builds up hope only to be pushed away AGAIN. Suddenly she's dealing with major rejection similar to death only SHE'S the reason (just my gut feeling). She's feeling very insecure and is carrying a lot of unnatural guilt, feeling responsible for her dad "throwing" her away and hating her. Fast forward to the next day where she does the usual no-no's and she just can't take it anymore. As she's trying to work up the courage to run away, she checks to make sure you're still there; that you haven't left her too. Her actions this time are NOT her usual because her emotional world has been turned upside down....way beyond what she can handle. Then when you finally find her and bring her home, your words don't match your actions in her mind. If you were scared, why AREN'T you hugging her. Why aren't you SHOWING her you really do love her. She now feels rejected and pushed away by you so she lashed out at you via your most precious items.</p><p></p><p>I may be totally way off base but this is the scenario that ran through my mind as I was reading your accounting. My son suffers from MANY rejections from people he was close to, which he doesn't do easily in the first place. I have just relayed the type of thinking that goes on in his head in situations like that. It's not My "normal" but it IS his and I have to try to teach him to handle these things more appropriately. When he suffers another major rejection (long story), I have to remember to let the small stuff go until he's in a better place AND remember to show him EXTRA affection regardless of his actions. </p><p></p><p>I really hope you get her into counseling. She has a lot of turmoil going on and she's just too young to be expected to handle such intense issues alone. She doesn't even have the skills to do it any other way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 512596"] Just wanted to chime in with my take on the runaway-trashing incident. She's feeling abandoned by her dad. When things are good there, she builds up hope only to be pushed away AGAIN. Suddenly she's dealing with major rejection similar to death only SHE'S the reason (just my gut feeling). She's feeling very insecure and is carrying a lot of unnatural guilt, feeling responsible for her dad "throwing" her away and hating her. Fast forward to the next day where she does the usual no-no's and she just can't take it anymore. As she's trying to work up the courage to run away, she checks to make sure you're still there; that you haven't left her too. Her actions this time are NOT her usual because her emotional world has been turned upside down....way beyond what she can handle. Then when you finally find her and bring her home, your words don't match your actions in her mind. If you were scared, why AREN'T you hugging her. Why aren't you SHOWING her you really do love her. She now feels rejected and pushed away by you so she lashed out at you via your most precious items. I may be totally way off base but this is the scenario that ran through my mind as I was reading your accounting. My son suffers from MANY rejections from people he was close to, which he doesn't do easily in the first place. I have just relayed the type of thinking that goes on in his head in situations like that. It's not My "normal" but it IS his and I have to try to teach him to handle these things more appropriately. When he suffers another major rejection (long story), I have to remember to let the small stuff go until he's in a better place AND remember to show him EXTRA affection regardless of his actions. I really hope you get her into counseling. She has a lot of turmoil going on and she's just too young to be expected to handle such intense issues alone. She doesn't even have the skills to do it any other way. [/QUOTE]
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