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<blockquote data-quote="Cressida" data-source="post: 512667" data-attributes="member: 14097"><p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'">Hi DaisyFace; thank you for your reply. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'">These are brilliant points, I shall remember them. The hard thing is that with young children, even if she *is* angry, and *recognises* that she's angry, she probably doesn't begin to understand *why*. I'm trying, and actually we've have a lovely afternoon (although I've 'bribed' that if she keeps good behaviour up, she can have a friend over for the weekend - my friend's younger sister is just a little older than The Menace, and Menace *adores* her) - she's tidied the mess she made this morning (including the cat biscuits strewn around the living room & placed in random piles... I mean, WHY!?!), and cleaned her room! So much, much calmer than the last few days. I think I just had a bit of a meltdown earlier, having had to push all *my* stuff aside to deal with her needs & issues, suddenly it caught up with me.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'">I really appreciate the hugs, support, and advice - thank you so much. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'">Cx</span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'palatino linotype'"><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'">Hi TeDo,</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'palatino linotype'"><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'palatino linotype'"><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'">Thanks for replying. Although I'd acknowledged that rejection is traumatic (I went through a similar thing with my own father & it royally messed me up, so have been trying to protect Menace from suffering the same fate!) I had put 'wanting her to know just how serious running off was' above 'assuring her that she was loved & wanted'. I realised that the morning after, when I looked back at how upset I'd been, and I'd had my friends supporting me - she had no-one... everyone was cold and cross with her. I've been reassuring her since, and you're absolutely right - it should have come at the time. Hopefully I've caught myself in enough time, and can repair some of the upset. There have been lots of snuggles & love & together-time since, and she's calmed right down (school reported she's been 'brilliant' today, which is great - if unexpected - news!).</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'palatino linotype'"><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'palatino linotype'"><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'">I have also secured the play-therapy route, as she does obviously need some kind of counselling to help her cope with her feelings. I really, really hope it helps her.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'palatino linotype'"></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'">I'm really sorry to hear about your son - abandonment/rejection issues are horrendous, and so damaging for children. I wish you all the best, and it sounds like you're doing a fantastic job. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua'">Cx</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Cressida, post: 512667, member: 14097"] [FONT=book antiqua]Hi DaisyFace; thank you for your reply. These are brilliant points, I shall remember them. The hard thing is that with young children, even if she *is* angry, and *recognises* that she's angry, she probably doesn't begin to understand *why*. I'm trying, and actually we've have a lovely afternoon (although I've 'bribed' that if she keeps good behaviour up, she can have a friend over for the weekend - my friend's younger sister is just a little older than The Menace, and Menace *adores* her) - she's tidied the mess she made this morning (including the cat biscuits strewn around the living room & placed in random piles... I mean, WHY!?!), and cleaned her room! So much, much calmer than the last few days. I think I just had a bit of a meltdown earlier, having had to push all *my* stuff aside to deal with her needs & issues, suddenly it caught up with me. I really appreciate the hugs, support, and advice - thank you so much. :) Cx[/FONT] [FONT=palatino linotype][FONT=book antiqua]Hi TeDo, Thanks for replying. Although I'd acknowledged that rejection is traumatic (I went through a similar thing with my own father & it royally messed me up, so have been trying to protect Menace from suffering the same fate!) I had put 'wanting her to know just how serious running off was' above 'assuring her that she was loved & wanted'. I realised that the morning after, when I looked back at how upset I'd been, and I'd had my friends supporting me - she had no-one... everyone was cold and cross with her. I've been reassuring her since, and you're absolutely right - it should have come at the time. Hopefully I've caught myself in enough time, and can repair some of the upset. There have been lots of snuggles & love & together-time since, and she's calmed right down (school reported she's been 'brilliant' today, which is great - if unexpected - news!). I have also secured the play-therapy route, as she does obviously need some kind of counselling to help her cope with her feelings. I really, really hope it helps her.[/FONT] [/FONT] [FONT=book antiqua]I'm really sorry to hear about your son - abandonment/rejection issues are horrendous, and so damaging for children. I wish you all the best, and it sounds like you're doing a fantastic job. :) Cx[/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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