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Hello Everyone! Im new here ;)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 198262" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Things are probably different here so I won't address the legalities etc.</p><p></p><p>However, the people, the personalities, the 'strategies' - it is quite possible that the school is not intervening or trying to prevent harder, because they are hoping to force the issue so your son goes where they want him to.</p><p></p><p>I agree with your assessment - a kid who begins the year doing well, then has a series of problems like this - the first one predisposed him for this to continue. Also, if the first one was his response to being hassled and provoked into finally reacting, then chances are so were the next ones. At the very least he would have been stirred up enough to react sooner, rather than wait until someone hit him first.</p><p></p><p>Example: a boy in difficult child 3's year at correspondence school was formerly attending a behaviour school. In fact, the same behaviour school also uses the correspondence school so often difficult child 3 crosses paths with these kids on study days. This boy has settled down a great deal since his mother pulled him out of the behaviour school to attend correspondence from home instead. But before he left, and in his other placements, kids were hassling him. His mother was also in a position to hear things because she actually worked at these schools as an aide. And when they put all the evidence together, talked to other kids and kept their ear to the ground they were able to finally prove that kids were spreading the word (even from one school to another), "Go hassle X, all you need to do is say ..... to him and he will react, then he will get into trouble and they will expel him."</p><p>The boy was telling his mother, "I don't understand it. First day at a new school, nobody knows me, and this kid I've never seen before walks past, hits me and calls me the same name they used to call me at the other school. What is it about me that makes them do this?"</p><p>The mother spoke to the principal and told him what she had found out (about the kids ganging up on her son purely for the fun of it) and they wouldn't do a thing about it. So she pulled him out. He is now doing much better, is more relaxed and much happier. He is also now doing well with his work too. Plus he has befriended difficult child 3, which in my book makes him one of the best. It's quite an effort, for another kid his age to cope with him. difficult child 3 is a nice kid but he's hard work.</p><p></p><p>What I'm saying here - if your son has become a target for other kids fun, then the problems will continue. YOu would need to put in place constant playground supervision as well as insist that ALL offenders be dealt with equally, for it to have a chance of being stopped. It is horrendous just how much this can go on and just how much damage it can do to our difficult children.</p><p></p><p>Seriously, I agree with keeping him home until the school can give you an assurance that you will keep HIM safe. They are accusing him but not finding out what is causing the problems. As a result, they're doing absolutely nothing to prevent recurrences. Suspension is not the answer.</p><p></p><p>If you're going to keep him home, get some schoolwork form the teacher. The first work to give him is anything not completed in class. After that, keep him busy. Being home from school for whatever reason (including being ill) is, in our home, never a free pass to duck out of schoolwork. Keeping him working does several things:</p><p></p><p>1) It stops him from getting used to skiving off during school hours.</p><p></p><p>2) It stops the school from accusing you of not being serious about his educational needs.</p><p></p><p>3) It helps him maintain a work ethic and helps him make up anything he's missed in his education; it can even help him get ahead, if he works hard.</p><p></p><p>4) It can set the stage and help prepare you both for the possibility that he might need to be home-schooled for a while, at least.</p><p></p><p>Advantages of keeping him home for home-schooling (or correspondence, or similar):</p><p>1) No more phone calls from school aggravating your heart problems.</p><p></p><p>2) You will know ahead of time exactly what you will be doing and where you will be going (if anywhere).</p><p></p><p>3) You will have more freedom of movement - no more having to stop your shopping trip or medical appointment to go to the school to collect your wayward child.</p><p></p><p>4) HE will not be getting hassled by other students; instead, he will be home right under your nose, working hard.</p><p></p><p>The principal THANKED you for the "wonderful IEP request" you wrote? Did she have anything to say about her failure to take it seriously?</p><p></p><p>I don't blame you being cranky.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 198262, member: 1991"] Things are probably different here so I won't address the legalities etc. However, the people, the personalities, the 'strategies' - it is quite possible that the school is not intervening or trying to prevent harder, because they are hoping to force the issue so your son goes where they want him to. I agree with your assessment - a kid who begins the year doing well, then has a series of problems like this - the first one predisposed him for this to continue. Also, if the first one was his response to being hassled and provoked into finally reacting, then chances are so were the next ones. At the very least he would have been stirred up enough to react sooner, rather than wait until someone hit him first. Example: a boy in difficult child 3's year at correspondence school was formerly attending a behaviour school. In fact, the same behaviour school also uses the correspondence school so often difficult child 3 crosses paths with these kids on study days. This boy has settled down a great deal since his mother pulled him out of the behaviour school to attend correspondence from home instead. But before he left, and in his other placements, kids were hassling him. His mother was also in a position to hear things because she actually worked at these schools as an aide. And when they put all the evidence together, talked to other kids and kept their ear to the ground they were able to finally prove that kids were spreading the word (even from one school to another), "Go hassle X, all you need to do is say ..... to him and he will react, then he will get into trouble and they will expel him." The boy was telling his mother, "I don't understand it. First day at a new school, nobody knows me, and this kid I've never seen before walks past, hits me and calls me the same name they used to call me at the other school. What is it about me that makes them do this?" The mother spoke to the principal and told him what she had found out (about the kids ganging up on her son purely for the fun of it) and they wouldn't do a thing about it. So she pulled him out. He is now doing much better, is more relaxed and much happier. He is also now doing well with his work too. Plus he has befriended difficult child 3, which in my book makes him one of the best. It's quite an effort, for another kid his age to cope with him. difficult child 3 is a nice kid but he's hard work. What I'm saying here - if your son has become a target for other kids fun, then the problems will continue. YOu would need to put in place constant playground supervision as well as insist that ALL offenders be dealt with equally, for it to have a chance of being stopped. It is horrendous just how much this can go on and just how much damage it can do to our difficult children. Seriously, I agree with keeping him home until the school can give you an assurance that you will keep HIM safe. They are accusing him but not finding out what is causing the problems. As a result, they're doing absolutely nothing to prevent recurrences. Suspension is not the answer. If you're going to keep him home, get some schoolwork form the teacher. The first work to give him is anything not completed in class. After that, keep him busy. Being home from school for whatever reason (including being ill) is, in our home, never a free pass to duck out of schoolwork. Keeping him working does several things: 1) It stops him from getting used to skiving off during school hours. 2) It stops the school from accusing you of not being serious about his educational needs. 3) It helps him maintain a work ethic and helps him make up anything he's missed in his education; it can even help him get ahead, if he works hard. 4) It can set the stage and help prepare you both for the possibility that he might need to be home-schooled for a while, at least. Advantages of keeping him home for home-schooling (or correspondence, or similar): 1) No more phone calls from school aggravating your heart problems. 2) You will know ahead of time exactly what you will be doing and where you will be going (if anywhere). 3) You will have more freedom of movement - no more having to stop your shopping trip or medical appointment to go to the school to collect your wayward child. 4) HE will not be getting hassled by other students; instead, he will be home right under your nose, working hard. The principal THANKED you for the "wonderful IEP request" you wrote? Did she have anything to say about her failure to take it seriously? I don't blame you being cranky. Marg [/QUOTE]
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