Hello everyone, long time no see

[everywoman]

Pigless---Good to see you. I used to be katmom---changed name a few years ago. I am so sorry about your husband. I understand about having to separate his actions from your life and trying to learn to live for yourself again. I have also done that in the last year. Good luck with moving forward---it looks like you are in a good place considering all you've been through.

 

[DammitJanet]

Oh honey...sigh...I dont know what to say. That just really seems like such a hard few years for you to have gone through. I wish I had been able to have been there for you. Dratted phone. I also changed my number not long after I had the meningitis so I really wasnt in very good shape myself. Really, we do have to make plans to get together. I met up with Sharon not too long ago. I have plans to be up in VA sometime in July, maybe we could meet up then. heaven knows I dont want to hang out with my son's family while Tony is fishing...lol. Driving back down to see you sounds divine...lmao. Maybe you could help me make copies of my family pictures. Long long story.

I wish I could have got a hold of you when I was up in December. My dad died 12/2. I think he is buried out near you and Sharon. Certainly not our near where I lived...lol. I think its called Westhampton? Does that sound familiar?

We do have so much to catch up on. I now have 3 grands and one on the way...can you believe it? LOL. Im officially old!

 

[witzend]

Welcome back, lady. I'm sorry to hear of your family's hardships. Glad to hear that your difficult child seems to be getting a correct diagnosis. I will look forward to your updates.

 

[Wiped Out]

Pigless,
Welcome back! I've missed you and am so sorry about your husband. Gentle hugs.

 

[HaoZi]

Hi Pigless, I don't know you, just wanted to send my condolences and *hugs*.

 

[pigless in VA]

Hi, HaoZi. Nice ducks.
Hey, Sharon. You're still wiped out. We need nutritional support on the board, I think.
Witz, love the beehive do. I doubt difficult child will ever get a proper diagnosis since husband never did. I suspect husband had a personality disorder but that was simply my opinion.

 

[pigless in VA]

I keep writing and keep losing it. Do I have a time limit of which I am unaware?

husband had a psychotic break late in August. We were watching a movie and in a split second he snapped. He suddenly thought I was the woman in the movie who was humiliating her husband. He forcefully brought the kids into the bedroom with him and locked the door telling them that I was "evil" and he needed to protect them from me. I stayed as calm as I could. I did try to talk rationally with him at first but he was completely irrational. At the time, I did not know he was psychotic; I just handled the incident to the best of my limited ability. I asked him calmly to unlock the door so that I could put the kids to bed. He allowed me to do it.

I slept from then on with the cell phone under my head. In the moring, husband realized that something was very wrong. He allowed me to take him to see his psychiatrist. No medication changes though. The psychiatrist was willing to sign disability papers so that husband did not have to work during September. It was a very rough month for me. In retrospect, I think he should have been hospitalized but none of the doctors (4 total involved) were willing.

 

[pigless in VA]

husband returned to work in October. Every day he became a little more manic. I did try to get him to understand how he had changed but he became what I call "seduced by the mania." He didn't want it to stop. He hated me for wanting him to come down and function better. His doctors saw him talking non-stop, saw the grandiosity and paranoia, heard him describe the hypersexuality, witnessed the agitation and extreme irritabilty, but no one would hospitalize him.

[As a bit of an aside, when I began dating husband in 1996 he told me about 7 previous hospitalizations. He explained those as caused by his heavy drinking and drug use. He had been clean for about a year when I started seeing him and he appeared rational and level headed. I did not see any mania until the summer of 2010.]

On Halloween night, husband carried a boombox through the neighborhood and danced for hours by himself. In 14 years of knowing him, I had never seen him dance, not once. That's when I became downright terrified.

 

[AnnieO]

I, like HaoZi, don't know you, but after reading this thread, I wanted to add in my hugs for you.

 

[Nomad]

My condolences as well.
What a very sad and frightening experience.
How wonderful that you are still working part time at the pre school.
My memory aint what it use to be (forgive me).
But I do recall communicating with you a few times. Are your children still the ages you have listed...or is that a former listing?
It is hard to forget a name like "pigless."
Sending good thoughts....you are strong.
Prayers, good thoughts and hugs.

 

[susiestar]

What a shame that he went through all of that and not one doctor was willing to help. in my opinion this is the simply malpractice and I hope and pray someday that these docs become more compassionate to the worried and frightened families.

It seems the kids have been through a whole lot, as you also have. I came across a link to a group that runs special camps for kids who have lost a loved one. The camps help the kids work through thegrief and pain and learn to express it and handle it in a healthy way. I tried to PM the link to you, but you are not accepting PMs right now. It sounds like a great place for a child to learn how to cope. So often they don't want to talk to a surviving parent because they don't want to "burden" them. The link is http://www.moyerfoundation.org/default.aspx

 

[pigless in VA]

Hello, StepTo2. Thanks for your support.

Nomad, my kids are a little bit older now. Aren't we all? You will find it interesting that I have only had one migraine since January. Over the fall they had increased to about 4 per week. Can we say "lower stress level?"

susiestar, I have my kids signed up for Comfort Zone Camp in a couple of weeks. Thank you for thinking of them. Many people have recommended CZ and I also have the book You Are Not Alone by Lynne Hughes. I've been reading it to them a little at a time. Another one I've found helpful is Talking With Children About Loss by Maria Trozzi. The premise behind the CZ camp is to have kids talk to other kids who have had a parent die. It is difficult but no more so than watching their father go crazy. There aren't parenting books to address that situation, and yet it happens. My best friend as a teenager had a mother who was schizophrenic. Children can survive but they have to have adults around them to guide them through. I see that as my job now. (I thought my PM was working. I'll check on that.)