Hello from the farm

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by nerfherder, Jul 15, 2015.

  1. nerfherder

    nerfherder Active Member

    I've got time for a bit of an update, hi everyone!

    One piglet born a couple days ago has an injured leg, so I'm bottle feeding her in case something else is wrong. So today it's a tbsp of formula every hour, more or less.

    Kiddo's doing well, as I mentioned in the "True North" thread. She's got a job at a local thrift shop, a sheltered workplace. DEX and I had a falling out - not a horrible one, but related to financial stuff. He's always been either trusting or lackadaisical about keeping up with financial details - he neglected to double check that the change in payments to me after Kiddo was placed went through as he entered, he dropped it down to what basically covers my portion of the utilities and mortgage with Blacksmith and RN's property, so to simplify I told my housemates "Here's the account info, after auto insurance clears the rest is for you guys." And so for three months DEX didn't notice he was paying me too much, I wasn't looking, Blacksmith figured it was just the way it was... DEX has done things like this with autopay before, and I'd always double-checked when we were together for things like that. So I'm angry that he repeated a pattern that made me and my housemates look bad, he's angry because he feels ripped off (and stupid) but... is what it is. We still communicate and occasionally send each other jokes, but a wall is up now - probably better that way in the long run.

    I'm still not great. Recent panic attacks, as I mentioned in that thread. Poor sleep - first the horrid heatwave that hit our part of the US, then four geese - three young heritage breed and one our proven broody Embden goose basically dropped dead on the worst day - 106 and no breeze - even with water to swim in. Two or three pullets too. Then we had one owl attack and stray cats going after our layers (drought and heat wave probably hit the rodents that's their normal diet) then electrical circuit problems we can't track down for sure, then today in the midst of a loud, stinky (could be dangerous but we shut that breaker down completely) electrical failure in one part of the house, RN found one of the piglets with a possible splayed leg and snuffly nose I may have to bottle feed for a while - just as I was about to run out with a smelly load of household rubbish for the local dump, an hour before they close.

    Sorry, that sounds minor, and it really is - I got to the dump on time - ("Mars! No! Smelly dead baby birds stay outside! Git!"), piglet isn't obviously ill like a similar situation six months ago in our only cold snap, and using nicotine patches as I've been for focus and mood control has helped. Also trying to keep an active list going of tasks so I can stop worrying about all the things I forget to do - that helps too.

    But it's obvious all the years of Kiddo have tangled a lot of wires in my brain, and untangling has been difficult. The situation isn't instantly better when your child is no longer there to be an immediate weight on your spirit. It takes time, but I'm working on it.

    Mom is 96 and needs me to visit, which isn't easy given my current life choices. My older brother who used to be the Difficult Child has stepped up to help her once I was no longer in a position to go and stay with her whenever needed, and he's doing a fine job. But his impatience and temper - even though he knows it's there - is still a problem, especially since he doesn't understand the life choices I make. I was going to drive out last week (which was especially badly timed) but thankfully (!) the universe provided flash flooding, torrential rains, mud- and rock-slides that closed many of the roads out. So everyone understands why I couldn't make it, and my next attempt to go is in about a month.

    (Funny, all my best and closest friends were the DCs in their families. I'm the Difficult Child now, eh? :))

    Wah. I know, my life really could be worse. :) But y'all were there when it was intolerable, and I thank you all for that. I've passed this along to friends on occasion who need this kind of support.
     
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  2. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    I'm exhausted just reading about all the animals. I would so love it though. I truly admire you for what you do. Hope the little piglet does well.
     
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  3. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I love reading your posts.

    There was a novel I read as a child and again as a young adult, about a woman from the Big City who married and went to live on an egg farm in Washington State. The title is The Egg and I. It was a best seller in 1946 or something like that.

    From reading your signature it sounds you have made a similar or greater transition.

    While you may sometimes free stressed or momentarily down your posts exude a sense of peace and fulfillment.

    I am sorry for the loss of the birds.

    Where I live we are in drought conditions. Insects and birds, reptiles, rodents and well everybody is kind of out on a limb. I almost don't want to think about the suffering.

    Please let us know how the baby pig is doing. *I just read Tanya's post. Everybody is worried about the Baby Pig. I went to a pig farm once. One of those huge factory farms. I should never have gone. Pigs are my favorite animal besides dogs and cats and Macaws. The foreman told me that the pigs are so loving that they escape from their pens to go to the house.

    For you, try to get to see Mom. I lost my mother at almost 90 about a year and a half ago. I regret that I did not visit more.

    I am glad to meet you. Keep posting.

    And take care.
     
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    You are SO right. Even just learning to relax again takes a lot longer than you would expect if you haven't been there.
     
  5. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Nice o hear from you again. It seems that you are living life on your terms. I hope to do that one of these days.
     
  6. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    It's very nice to know how you are.

    :O)

    Cedar
     
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