Hello! I'm new here...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by xx_manda_panda_xx, Jan 3, 2009.

  1. xx_manda_panda_xx

    xx_manda_panda_xx New Member

    Hello everyone!
    I'm Manda. Late 20's in a blended family. 3 kiddos: two boys, Caleb who is 8, Cam who is 3 and one girl, Lizzy who is also 8. Boys are mine, girl is my boyfriend's. But we all live together as a family full time. My oldest boy Caleb is my special needs guy. He has been diagnosed with- the following: Asperger's, ADHD, Sensory Integration Disorder & most recently Conduct Disorder... I don't know what else I can say right now except for that I am at the end of my rope. Caleb has had problems for as long as I can remember & things just seem to get worse by the day. I honestly feel like he hates me at times. He has no regard for anyone. Hurts others constantly & never seems to have any remorse for anything he does. He doesn't seem to care about consequences either. I feel like I have exhausted every type of behavior plan or discipline because nothing seems to work anymore. He just doesn't care. Period... I'm sorry to have made such a negative introduction but it's been a particularly bad day, it's late and I am beyond tired. I hope that I can find some support among others who might be in similar situations as myself. Nice to meet all of you!
     
  2. lizzie09

    lizzie09 lizzie

    Welcome to you Manda!!!!

    I am sorry you are suffering like this bit you have come to a really nice place where everyone has seen some situation with our kids and whilst I am not very informative yet many many other members have advice second to none so I am sure you will have great support from all of us here in different ways.

    Enjoy the forum.
     
  3. Im a Believer

    Im a Believer New Member

    Hi Manda ~ Welcome!

    You have come to the right place- I don'tpost alot but I get tons of encourgement from reading other posters who share similiar issues and by the sheer fact I am not alone.

    I have no "advice" other than to say - I allow myself some "me time" every week and being able share my frustrations whether it be with a good friend or here definitley helps.

    Wishing you a Wonderful Day!

    Judy
     
  4. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Welcome, Manda.

    Be wary of the alphabet soup that can accumulate around your child; a lot of the labels can actually be explained as part of the overall spectrum of whatever is wrong.

    We can't diagnose here, but to get some idea of the range of things that can come under the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) umbrella, go to www.childbrain.com and look for the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire. You can run it on your child(ren) and print the rsults to show to a doctor, or to file for later consideration. A useful tool.

    Try and get your hands on a useful book, "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It has helped a lot of us with the sort of behavioural problems you describe. It also helps, without making your workload any worse. At least, that is our experience in our family. It's not a cure, but the help was welcome and makes it easier for us to make progress.

    More people will be along with more advice. Help is here, stick around. Welcome!

    Marg
     
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Mandy,
    Welcome! Don't worry about sounding negative here, sometimes we just need to vent! I remember when my difficult child was 8. I was constantly exhausted and felt that no matter what we tried it wasn't helping. Know that you have found a safe, supportive place to be. It's important that you find time to take care of you. Hugs.
     
  6. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    First, HUGS! Sounds like you could use a few. My daughter isn't on the spectrum but she definitely showed no remorse when she was young. Consequences, rewards, dire threats of death. Nothing worked. If she wanted to do something, she was going to do it and if she was thwarted, rages could last for hours. Not a lot of fun.

    I do believe that a lot of times kids show no remorse when they're young because they truly don't understand that their behavior is painful to others. For my daughter, it was a combination of a lack of understanding and a refusal to show that she really did care. I found this out many years after the fact. She always cared but she was not going to let anyone know. It gave them a power over her and a loss of control for her.

    Here's another vote for The Explosive Child. It really can give you some insights into how their minds work if nothing else.

    by the way -- I wouldn't buy into a CD diagnosis this young. It is usually reserved for older teens. An 8 YO really doesn't have the understanding to have CD. He may be lying and stealing but that's more of an issue of not understanding that what's yours isn't his and the lying sure beats getting into trouble.

    When you're up to it, give us some specifics about his behavior. We might have a trick or two to help you.
     
  7. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Welcome. I am glad you found us, but sorry you had to. Sounds like there is a lot going on with you kiddo. What evaluations have you had done and by what type of professional?
     
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. Have a few questions that will help us help you. Also, you may want to do a signature like I did below.

    1/Who diagnosed him? Has he ever seen a neuropsychologist?

    2/Any psychiatric disorders on either side of the genetic tree? Any substance abuse among his genetic relatives? Has he ever been physically or sexually abused?

    3/How was his early development? I'll try to list the things we need to know:
    speech
    eye contact
    his ability to socialize appropriately with his peers, then and now
    Did he play appropriately with toys?
    Any strong obsessive interests that seem to blot out everything else?
    Did he ever memorize cartoons or movies?
    Does he ever seem "out of it?"
    Is he clueless about life?
    Does he just not "get it?"

    Welcome aboard!
     
  9. AnnMarieTN

    AnnMarieTN New Member

    Welcome! I'm new here too. I'm so glad to have found such a supportive place.
     
  10. ML

    ML Guest

    Welcome to the CD family.
     
  11. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Hello and welcome.

    You will love it here. I do. And believe me negativity is welcome here!!!! Sounds like you have your hands full. We all can relate to what you are going through. There are many different dxs here but the symptoms are pretty similar. So no matter what our children are labeled with we all go through very similar struggles. It really does help to come here and connect with people who really do understand. You will get lots of advice and support here. Finding this site was the best thing that I have ever done for myself.

    I am in agreement with Meowbunny, your son is a bit young to carry the CD diagnosis. I wouldn't put too much stock into that just yet.

    Hang in there and God bless. :)
     
  12. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    hello and welcome!! I have to also recommend the book Explosive Child. I know a lot of us can relate to feeling so tired and beaten up when it comes to our difficult child's so you're not alone. We all need some recoup time before the next round. I've found some great advice and support here in the last few months.

    One thing I found very useful is the Parent Input & assement here ----> http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10

    Nice to meet you too!
     
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