Hi I find myself desperately looking for a place to be understood. Tuesday will mark 4 weeks that I have had to put my 12 year old daughter into a group home voluntarily to help her. She has been struggling with something since she was nine and has been doing art therapy and such. This past year she showed more signs of hurting herself physically and having suicidal thoughts, so we got assigned a social worker to see us as a family every 2 weeks. In May, she had a suicide attempt. I forced the hospital to give me more help and the only suggestion that they had was this special group home. I am so scared of not having her home, she's my baby and then I have so much hope that they can help her with more intense therapy and supervision. I feel guily for feeling relief of not having to hear her fight and burst out for hours while she tries to run into the street in front of a moving car, or jump out of my car as I'm taking her to the hospital, or just pleading with her to put the scissors away. I'm torn. I'm scared. They have mentioned oppositional defiant disorder but I do not think anyone has really diagnosed her like that yet. The group home social worker who will be working with us as a family was on vacation until now and just got back. I'm going to get more answers this week. I almost feel like I am functioning out of body.