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Hello! New here and I desperetely need help
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<blockquote data-quote="helpme" data-source="post: 312098" data-attributes="member: 8202"><p>Phew. </p><p></p><p>rlsnights- You are a gem. I can't tell you how much I wish that</p><p>someone had given me the advice you had years ago. </p><p></p><p>Here's a few more tips:</p><p></p><p>>>On Call your local police and ask to speak to someone about your situation.</p><p> </p><p>If they don't understand, ask to speak to someone "high up". If you get</p><p>the old "kids will be kids" attitude, ask if they have a position for mental</p><p>health services and let them know you also want to speak to anyone </p><p>with those qualifications.</p><p></p><p>If you are in a small town or city and repeated police reports are not</p><p>helping, start calling your local county police department. If you</p><p>are unsatisfied with their assistance, contact your local state police.</p><p></p><p>Record all incidents in a notebook with dates and times. This will </p><p>establish a habit for you to late use for educational, medical, and</p><p>possibly criminal charges. Add any names, badge numbers, positions,</p><p>and phone numbers to your incident book. Keep this book under</p><p>lock and key.</p><p></p><p><additional note: I am now able to see difficult child's facebook as he has it </p><p>unlocked. I also add these entries into my incident logbook. This</p><p>helps during "no contact" situations and assists in the ever determined</p><p>sleuthing many of us most perform daily></p><p></p><p>As far a medical care, I unfortunately pray you identify the problem</p><p>before the teenage years, or 18+.</p><p></p><p>Furthermore, </p><p>>>Tell them you are afraid he will hurt one of you or himself and that you may be calling them if he gets violent.</p><p></p><p>Insist if they are not complying. They must assist you. Be fully prepared</p><p>for situations like this at all time. Me, I wasn't prepared. I ended up</p><p>with one kid bleeding, one kid scared to death, as I stood strong about</p><p>forcing an evaluation. Also, I forgot to get gas and had to stop along the</p><p>way. Be prepared with a plan for all children, all situations. True, the</p><p>ambulance ride barely got there before me, but I would have had more time</p><p>to work with the staff. In my situation, the Police officer did not take</p><p>away my difficult child's phone who he had used to call his father with along the ride. My STBX then denied drug testing and psychiatric evaluation. The only </p><p>thing I got done was that they handed me his clothes and I took the</p><p>FOID card (firearms card) and his DL.</p><p></p><p>By the way, don't get me started on DL's. My state has a policy</p><p>that without a court order the only person who can "revoke" a DL</p><p>is the parent/person who signed for the test to be taken. Custody</p><p>does not matter.</p><p></p><p>And finally,</p><p>In regards to the physical abuse. Find a solution for the other children.</p><p>Drill, and I do mean drill, a plan into them. For me, I was so busy fighting</p><p>STBX to help difficult child, that I didn't realize that not only myself, but my daughters as well, were sleeping with knives (taken away from him), </p><p>purses, cell phones, and important paper, and even homework, under our pillows every night. See, I though the darn kid was just mad at ME, like everyone was saying. "X you are a great mom, its just a problem between you and difficult child". NOPE. Its a problem unrecognized, undiagnosed, and</p><p>UN remedied of the difficult child.</p><p></p><p>I saw the signs. I knew better. And now I know better I'll do better.</p><p>It's a lot easier to teach the other children about the situation, that</p><p>to deal with the after math of domestic violence. I shudder when</p><p>I remember how scared we all really were. Personally, no man has</p><p>ever raised a hand to me, included STBX. But for children, it is a fear</p><p>that is never forgotten.</p><p></p><p>I also worried about difficult child god hurting himself, and STBX's family</p><p>played the "you are gonna make him kill himself" card. Trust me,</p><p>they might not admit it our loud, but they truely know difficult child's behavior</p><p>(now under his father's care for 2 years) is going to get himself killed by someone if something doesn't change.</p><p></p><p>I wish you the best, stay strong. Take advice from everyone. And</p><p>don't be ashamed of what is happening. People do understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpme, post: 312098, member: 8202"] Phew. rlsnights- You are a gem. I can't tell you how much I wish that someone had given me the advice you had years ago. Here's a few more tips: >>On Call your local police and ask to speak to someone about your situation. If they don't understand, ask to speak to someone "high up". If you get the old "kids will be kids" attitude, ask if they have a position for mental health services and let them know you also want to speak to anyone with those qualifications. If you are in a small town or city and repeated police reports are not helping, start calling your local county police department. If you are unsatisfied with their assistance, contact your local state police. Record all incidents in a notebook with dates and times. This will establish a habit for you to late use for educational, medical, and possibly criminal charges. Add any names, badge numbers, positions, and phone numbers to your incident book. Keep this book under lock and key. <additional note: I am now able to see difficult child's facebook as he has it unlocked. I also add these entries into my incident logbook. This helps during "no contact" situations and assists in the ever determined sleuthing many of us most perform daily> As far a medical care, I unfortunately pray you identify the problem before the teenage years, or 18+. Furthermore, >>Tell them you are afraid he will hurt one of you or himself and that you may be calling them if he gets violent. Insist if they are not complying. They must assist you. Be fully prepared for situations like this at all time. Me, I wasn't prepared. I ended up with one kid bleeding, one kid scared to death, as I stood strong about forcing an evaluation. Also, I forgot to get gas and had to stop along the way. Be prepared with a plan for all children, all situations. True, the ambulance ride barely got there before me, but I would have had more time to work with the staff. In my situation, the Police officer did not take away my difficult child's phone who he had used to call his father with along the ride. My STBX then denied drug testing and psychiatric evaluation. The only thing I got done was that they handed me his clothes and I took the FOID card (firearms card) and his DL. By the way, don't get me started on DL's. My state has a policy that without a court order the only person who can "revoke" a DL is the parent/person who signed for the test to be taken. Custody does not matter. And finally, In regards to the physical abuse. Find a solution for the other children. Drill, and I do mean drill, a plan into them. For me, I was so busy fighting STBX to help difficult child, that I didn't realize that not only myself, but my daughters as well, were sleeping with knives (taken away from him), purses, cell phones, and important paper, and even homework, under our pillows every night. See, I though the darn kid was just mad at ME, like everyone was saying. "X you are a great mom, its just a problem between you and difficult child". NOPE. Its a problem unrecognized, undiagnosed, and UN remedied of the difficult child. I saw the signs. I knew better. And now I know better I'll do better. It's a lot easier to teach the other children about the situation, that to deal with the after math of domestic violence. I shudder when I remember how scared we all really were. Personally, no man has ever raised a hand to me, included STBX. But for children, it is a fear that is never forgotten. I also worried about difficult child god hurting himself, and STBX's family played the "you are gonna make him kill himself" card. Trust me, they might not admit it our loud, but they truely know difficult child's behavior (now under his father's care for 2 years) is going to get himself killed by someone if something doesn't change. I wish you the best, stay strong. Take advice from everyone. And don't be ashamed of what is happening. People do understand. [/QUOTE]
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