Hello

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Babbs, Jun 11, 2007.

  1. Babbs

    Babbs New Member

    Just wanted to say hi, I've been reading the boards here for awhile but finally got off my :censored2: and decided to post.

    A little background on me and my difficult child - I'm a single mom who waited waaay too long to get out of a bad relationship with an ex who's AD/HD, depressed, and diabetic himself (I thought AD/HD was bad until I lived with someone who was grouchy from high BS as well). difficult child is a sweet 6 year old boy with a vivid imagination who is in training to be a hell raising 16 year old. difficult child got diagnosed last year 6 months after the separation along with depression and anxiety. This past spring ODD was added after months of tantrums, outbursts, and aggressive behavior - final straw for me was when he threatened me with a large knife while emptying the dishwasher because he didn't want to do it. Now on medications and home operating on a token economy system he's settling down and making progress at school :smile:

    SO is a mellow laid back fellow who's willing to change and has been the best support for the past year. Luckily he handles difficult child's temper tantrums with aplomb and tact and is great at setting limits and sticking with them.

    Professionally I'm a school based OTR (Occupational Therapist) so I've seen both sides of the table with 504s and IEPs. Took me awhile to knock it into my head that my son had a problem that was unrelated to the separation and divorce and get off my :censored2: to do something about it. Most days I feel like I spend all day in the trenches (most the students I work with have some form of Autism or AD/HD or sensory processing disorder (SPD)) to come home and deal with it all night. Lately, as the medications and behavior system have kicked in, I feel like that less and less.

    This summer's got me anxious - Ex has difficult child for 7 weeks starting in July and has barely communicated with me for the past 6 months about home life, behavior system, education, medication, etc. He steadfastly denies his son has AD/HD (despite only spending 2 weeks with him over the past 22 months) and at the divorce settlement in April told me that his son just needs a firm hand and steady guidance, "not unlike many young boys his age." Yeah, like I don't know how to parent.

    It's great to find support and online communities for parents like us to know its not just us - we're not alone.
     
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Welcome aboard. I don't think I've "seen" you before because you
    name rings a bell with a high school friend from fifty years ago!
    Yeppers! Half a century ago I had a friend who's nickname was
    Babbo (a cleaning product that has been out of existence for at least four decades, I assume)!

    Anyway, I have an Ex of 37 years who still doesn't believe in ADHD. In fact.......all "those" kids need is a good old fashioned belt. Hmmmmmmmmmm. don't you love educated and aware
    life partners?????? LOL!

    Just want you to know that I understand. I have NO answers, of course, but I do understand your concerns. Welcome. DDD
     
  3. Babbs

    Babbs New Member

    Nice to meet you DDD - my nickname is Babbs and I'm an Occupational Therapist (OT), sooooo... been BabbsOT for almost every board I've ever logged onto at this point :smile:

    Ooooh and don't get me started about uneducated ex's. Only thing worse is uneducated school officials who try to snow a professional in the know.

    Babbs
     
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome Babbs,
    I'm glad you found us-the support here is amazing. I can understand your anxiety about this summer. Wish I had some advice but I haven't had to deal with that.

    Again-welcome!
     
  5. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Welcome aboard! :smile:
     
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Welcome to the board. :biggrin:
     
  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome BabbsOT! Glad you found us.

    Is this summer visitation court ordered? How far away is Dex?
     
  8. Babbs

    Babbs New Member

    Ex is in Alaska, I live in Washington so 2 hour plane ride, 2 day ferry ride, 800+ miles too far away.

    It's part of the settlement agreement. Long story short the divorce got fubar'd big time cause first lawyer never filed anything on my behalf and I was found default on the divorce. Lawyer #2 fought for me like a junkyard dog, got the case reopened but couldn't get a change of judges (small Alaska town, only three judges total - anywhere else family court judge never would have put up with ex's sorry :censored2:). Had to agree to 7 weeks visitation with stipulations as part of the settlement because the judge didn't want us to go to trial. So all I can do is sit back, demand information, and document everything.

    Good news is that cause it's a small court it's easier to get things into the court and a faster response.

    Babbs
     
  9. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Just wanted to add my welcome. :salute:
     
  10. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Popping in to offer you my welcome. :flower:
     
  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Babbs, are you fearful of him going to his dad's? Or is it more like he will be harder on him (usually that is a dad thing) and difficult child is not used to that since he lives with you (a mom - more sensitive, understanding, etc.).

    My difficult child took several years to figure out that dad's are just like her dad. They are different than moms - and should be. Big adjustment for my difficult child when she went to live with dad for a year.
     
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