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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 710074" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You are NOT a failure as a mom or a bad mom on any level! You are FAR from that - you are an AMAZING mom!!!! You have done a great job for your son!!!! The only thing I think you should do is ease up on yourself. No one is perfect and that is especially true for moms. You have gone WAY above and beyond for your son! Trust me, I know a LOT of moms who are considered excellent who would not ever do half of what you have already done for your son. </p><p></p><p>We all understand not being able to talk to those around you because they just don't understand and give you that look like you have 3 heads. Want to know a secret? More than a few of them are actually dealing with some of the same things at home, they just are too chicken poop to admit it even to themselves or to even THINK about getting help for their children.</p><p></p><p>How do I know? My son's behaviors were not secret, they were a little to 'in your face' to be kept private. I was active at the school and after a few years became the mom that other moms came to when they wanted to know where to go to get their kids tested or into therapy. I also had a reputation for never ever spilling anyone else's secrets. So if a parent came to me asking for help, I gave it but never gossiped about it. I was truly shocked at how many parents came to me asking how to find a therapist or psychiatrist because their kids were out of control, and how far out of control their kids were. Because they had to tell me what was going on before I would give suggestions - I didn't want to give the wrong suggestions. I was shocked at how far some families went to cover up their kids bad behavior. My kids knew I wouldn't advertise what they did but I wouldn't cover it up either. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry your ex is not a help to your son. Have you considered that whatever has happened to traumatize your son happened or happens at your ex's? Is this something the therapist is dealing with? I am NOT saying he is a bad person, just that he clearly is not helping, and sometimes that is a red flag. </p><p></p><p>I am glad the school is following the IEP and things are going better. Keep on top of them and ALWAYS follow your instincts. They won't ever lead you wrong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 710074, member: 1233"] You are NOT a failure as a mom or a bad mom on any level! You are FAR from that - you are an AMAZING mom!!!! You have done a great job for your son!!!! The only thing I think you should do is ease up on yourself. No one is perfect and that is especially true for moms. You have gone WAY above and beyond for your son! Trust me, I know a LOT of moms who are considered excellent who would not ever do half of what you have already done for your son. We all understand not being able to talk to those around you because they just don't understand and give you that look like you have 3 heads. Want to know a secret? More than a few of them are actually dealing with some of the same things at home, they just are too chicken poop to admit it even to themselves or to even THINK about getting help for their children. How do I know? My son's behaviors were not secret, they were a little to 'in your face' to be kept private. I was active at the school and after a few years became the mom that other moms came to when they wanted to know where to go to get their kids tested or into therapy. I also had a reputation for never ever spilling anyone else's secrets. So if a parent came to me asking for help, I gave it but never gossiped about it. I was truly shocked at how many parents came to me asking how to find a therapist or psychiatrist because their kids were out of control, and how far out of control their kids were. Because they had to tell me what was going on before I would give suggestions - I didn't want to give the wrong suggestions. I was shocked at how far some families went to cover up their kids bad behavior. My kids knew I wouldn't advertise what they did but I wouldn't cover it up either. I am sorry your ex is not a help to your son. Have you considered that whatever has happened to traumatize your son happened or happens at your ex's? Is this something the therapist is dealing with? I am NOT saying he is a bad person, just that he clearly is not helping, and sometimes that is a red flag. I am glad the school is following the IEP and things are going better. Keep on top of them and ALWAYS follow your instincts. They won't ever lead you wrong. [/QUOTE]
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